30 Days of Truth--Day 02

Day 02:  Something you love about yourself.


This is a hard one. Just because I have to pick just one. ;)


Hmm. Well, I have to say that my favorite thing about me is my easygoing nature. I have a talent to make people feel comfortable and relaxed around me. I also let things roll off my back. For instance--my roommate drama in my Day 01 post. I am pretty much over it. Yes. She was a jerk, but you know what??? Some people have had social experiences that don't teach them how to be kind to others. Anyway. I love that about myself. I just like to chill and have fun. :)


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So, my friend Chris reminded me of something that I want to try. Free writing. I basically will be blogging out my feelings until the core of my recent funk comes out. :)

Right on. :) I have something to admit. Lately I have been...what is the word??? Not worried... maybe longing??? No. That's wrong too. I guess hopeful??? IDK. I've been wanting a relationship. It has been almost 5 years since my last serious relationship. I don't think that I'm looking for something serious, but I would like some sort of romantic feelings between me and a member of the male species. :) lol. I think that I just have been surrounded by "romance" and me--someone who hates sickly sweet romance and pda above a peck or hand holding--is admitting to being lonely. Hmm. I guess I am. lol. Wow. It feels a little deeper than that though.

I think that I am feeling a little abandoned and at the same time like I am a burden. I hate feeling like this too.

Gosh...I never knew that the reason I'm frustrated with my old roommate is because I feel abandoned by her, and that brings up my lingering feelings of abandonment by my family.

Which brings up the reason I feel like a burden. It's because I had to ask for help from people to move. It's not that I am not appreciative and EXTREMELY grateful for my friends. I totally am, but I also feel like I made them go out of their way to help me. I technically could have done everything myself, and I feel bad for asking for help.

Is that weird??? Because I am literally feeling like crying right now because I inconvenienced my friends and made them help me move. I'm messed up. lol. I have the compulsion to help others around me, but I can't ask for it in return. Maybe it means that I'm making strides by even asking them to help. Why can't I just ask people for help???

lol. Man are you regretting reading this post, huh??? lol. I guess that's what I get for free writing. Sometimes things should stay inside. lol.

Anyway. I guess I am as complicated and insane as any other woman.

Ooh--interesting fact #379: I actually laugh out loud if I type "lol." Is that weird? Are you supposed to do that? lol. I'm crazy! lol.

Moving right along.

The music lyrics for today. A song that was recently featured on one of my favorite television shows--Glee. Never heard this song before the episode, but it has been stuck in my head all week. :) Here it goes!

The Only Exception
by: Paramore

When I was younger I saw
My daddy cry and curse at the wind
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that she would
Never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing