Weekend

Aloha!!!
How have you all been? Here, life has been pretty awesome and crazy and stressful, and overall... life! :) This weekend was the Young Single Adult Conference for our stake.

It was...AMAZING. More than amazing. I just posted this on my facebook, but it was a life-changing experience. I went to the conference with a lot on my plate and a lot of questions. I left with a light heart and a happy feeling. I haven't really felt that happy in a LONG time.

I am just SO grateful for this life. I am grateful for the love that is shown to me, even though I know I don't deserve it most days.

I took a personality test the other day with my brothers, and I was faced with the Karyn that they have known their entire life. It wasn't pretty.  I would be lying if I said that their portrayal of me and the clarity in which they have seen me in the past wasn't hurtful. However, it was true.

Too true.

I have made a resolution to try to be better. I don't want people to think I'm critical of them, or that I won't listen to them if they need me.

This weekend was the best place to see that I need to focus on what really matters. I get so...distracted by things that are so trivial. I need to take a step back and refocus my life.

A really good friend of mine is moving this week to Vegas for a job.

I am SUPER happy for him. He has been looking for a while and is going to start working at a company that offers really good opportunities for advancement.

BUT, I am WAY sad about it...even though it's only 2 hours away. I guess what really makes me sad is that I can't just drop by his place or tell him to come over to hang out. He's rambunctious and loud, but he's also really fun and we have the awesomest conversations about stuff. lol.

It's such a mixture of emotions, but I keep coming back to happy. I'm glad that he has this opportunity, and that he's moving forward with life. :)

Anywho. Life is good, and will keep getting better. I just need to get back to the basics. :)

Okay. I don't listen to a lot of country, but this one is for Chris - who played this on his iPhone three times this past weekend. lol. I think he likes it, but I can't be sure. ;)

Enjoy!

New Life

Lately I have been...

Hmm... I can't really think of the right word. Stretched thin? Over-extended?

Anyway. You get what I mean.

When I get like this (and it does happen from time to time) I try to avoid people because if you have known me for any length of time, I tend to be ... unpleasant. Grumpy. Cantankerous. (lol)

However, when you have someone who is typically in a good mood and really happy and doing what they are supposed to as your roommate (I'm talking about you, Amy), it is nearly impossible to have a bad day or to be in a bad mood for any length of time.

In fact, I find myself intrigued, enlightened, and amused at the smallest and least likely of things. It's been really cool. For instance, I made a calendar AGES ago for work, and the color combination I created on October 7th is phenomenal. It's like a spring green, orangey-pink and golden rod. It's seriously amazing.

What really inspired this blog though happened last night after a birthday party I went to. My good friend Wyatt was there playing volleyball, and he stopped playing the game and hugged me. He also told me that he missed having me around and that he wished I would make more of an effort to be a part of our social group again.

I was seriously surprised. I didn't think that it really made that much of a difference to people if I was around or not. I have been buried in school, and make that excuse to people when they ask me about where I've been, but it was nice.

Another thing happened last night that was cool too. My roomie came to my office (where I was doing homework) and just chilled with me until I was done. So, as we were sitting in the office, I finished a particularly difficult piece of my accounting homework and exclaimed, "I am amazing!"

Do you know what she said?

"It took you that long to figure that out?"

Not only was that super cool of her to say that, but it made me think.

I think I undervalue myself.

I mean...I'm not trying to be cocky or arrogant. However, I do "have a particular set of skills" (movie quote?) that I think are unique and are valuable. I think I'm pretty awesome at what I do. People come and ask me for things, and I can give them what they ask for. How fantastic is that?

I guess what I really want to say is...THANK YOU. Thanks to friends and family that support me, and inspire me to be better, and that love me unconditionally. This week I have definitely needed it, and you all have delivered beautifully.

Now, this song is the EXACT opposite of what I just said, but it has been in my head, so here you go:

I am an optimist.

I always like to look on the bright side of things. I guess I figure that it's too depressing to be pessimistic all the time. I do have pessimistic moments...I will actually seek out the worst case scenario, plan for it, and then hope for the best case scenario to happen. :)

I suppose that makes me a cautious optimist. lol.

Anyway. The reason I am writing this is because of one thing. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

People are sometimes bad and mean. They are sometimes hurtful and violent. However, I believe in the goodness of people. I believe that if you give someone a chance to prove themselves as a good and honest person, that they will.

Some people see this point of view as naive or foolish. Trust me, I know how it sounds. Rest assured that I will always have the little planner in  my head preparing me for the worst case scenario. However, most of me will trust people until they prove that they aren't trustworthy. Even then, I will give people second, third, even fourth chances.

I don't know exactly how I learned this, but I think I get it from my dad. He is one of the most forgiving and friendly people I know. I have seen people do some pretty messed up things to my dad, and he just lets it roll off his shoulders. I think I also get some of it from my mom...who invariably puts up with us (her family) even though sometimes we say or do things that are really hurtful towards her.

If you have read past posts I have written about my family, you will know that I consider myself the "black sheep" of the family. I have always gone my own way. I make my friends my family... especially when I am away from my actual family (like I am now). My brothers seem content to have their wives and kids, and that's it. I'm not sure if I would be that way.

However, I think that fact is the reason I am so forgiving of my friends. When they hurt me, when they betray me, etc. I forgive them...because that is what you do when it's your family.

I may not have the most perfect home life, and I never claimed I was anywhere near perfect. However, I DO think I have this right.

Forgiveness (is more than saying sorry! ;) What movie???) is something I am good at. Not only forgiving, but forgetting as well. I think there is a reason I have a leaky sieve for a brain. I can't remember stuff to save my life. (As is surely frustrating for everyone around me. Sorry. I can't help it.) I do remember love though. I love my family. I love my friends. I even love perfect strangers.

I know that there are bad people out there. I consider myself a pretty good judge of character, so don't worry. I won't be playing the martyr and getting myself into trouble with people that are sketchy.

I do know one thing though. People deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Challenge this week--trust someone. It might turn sour, I know... but maybe, just maybe you'll be surprised at the awesomeness that ensues.

The Case of the Missing Blogger

Wow. It's been what? Months?

You may be wondering where I've been, or what I've been doing.

Truthfully, I don't have anything super entertaining to tell you. I started my Bachelor's program and I honestly think that if I write another paper, I'll explode.

Wait for it...

Here it comes......

Huh. Nothing. I guess I can go on.

I have to write so much for school that it makes writing for fun much less appealing. However, because I love you all and because I am procrastinating some homework tonight, I am going to write a blog post. :)

I can see the excitement in your eyes. lol. Hopefully I will be able to live up to all of your blogging expectations!

A lot has happened in the past three months...and yet it has gone by so quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday when I was starting my first class, and now it's been 16 weeks and I'm in my fourth class.

I don't know how to describe to you the feeling of accomplishing something that I never thought was possible. I never thought that I would ever get my degree, and here I am--about 16 months away from achieving that goal. It's pretty cool.

Of course it isn't all fun and games. I'm tired. Like all the time. I think I have carpal tunnel from typing at a desk all day, and I'm pretty sure my eyes are starting to go.

It's all for the cause I guess. :S When I'm blind and unable to move my hands, my degree will keep me warm at night. :)

Work hasn't been too shabby either. Truth be told, I think I'm more frustrated with things now than I have EVER been, but it's manageable, and my boss is cool about confrontation, so I get to put in my 2 cents.

Have I ever told you that I love confrontation??? That and awkward moments. :) Give me an awkward moment, and I'll give you a big high five!!!

Oh, and musically, I have been exploring. It's been pretty awesome. Lately I have been listening to a lot of house, funk, electronic, and reggae. Oh, and oldies. So many oldies. I love oldies. Anything from the 90s and older... preferably from the 70s.

I really do love the 70s. Such great music, fashion, design...everything about the 70s is inspiring to me.

Anyway.

I think this is where I'll stop for tonight. I really need to do homework, and then it's off to bed for me.  Tomorrow morning is do or die time. I find out tomorrow morning if the new battery I bought fixed my car or not.

Here's hoping!

---

Feels Like Home
by: Randy Newman

There's something in your eyes,
Makes me want to lose myself,
Makes me want to lose myself, in your arms.
There's something in your voice,
Makes my heart beat fast.
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life.

If you knew how lonely my life has been,
And how long I've been so alone.
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come a - long,
And change my life the way you've done.

It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.
It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.

A window breaks down a long dark street,
And a siren wails, in the night.
But I'm all right, 'cause I have you here with me.
And I can almost see through the dark there's light.

If you knew how much this moment means to me,
And how long I've waited for your touch.
And if you knew how happy you are ma - king me,
I've never thought I'd love anyone so much.

It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.
It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.