Christmas in Review

Aloha!!!

Many of you have posted a "Christmas in Review" type of blog, and while usually, I try to stay away from those, I just had to tell you about my Christmas.

This year, I decided to go and spend my Christmas with my Grandma, Great Grandma (who is 100), my Uncle Aaron, his family, and their friend Debbie.

It was AMAZING to say the least. There is something that puts me at ease when I am with my family. There is nothing quite like it, and sadly I don't think I'm ever 100% myself when I am away from my family. Anywho...

Before I get into the awesome parts, let me tell you a story.

Blanche has been giving me trouble (I think it's about time to retire her... :( ), so I decided to rent a car from Enterprise--who I have rented from many times before. I have always enjoyed their customer service and the friendliness of the staff.

I made my reservation with them online a couple of weeks before because I knew that holidays are a busy time for them. When I went to get my car (thanks for the ride Susi!), there were NONE at all. I asked where all the cars were, and they stated that many of the renters from the day before hadn't returned their cars on time. I can understand that, so while being a little put out (I had a time schedule to keep), I was willing to wait. However, as the man checked me in (I think his name was Brad...) he asked where I was going. I stated I was going to Page, which is just a hop skip and a jump over the Utah-Arizona border. He told me that I was only allotted 100 miles a day. I told him I understood, and that I wouldn't be going over the mileage, as Page is only about 150 miles away.

He told me he bumped me up to unlimited miles because Arizona was far away, which bumped my price up to $100 more than I was originally budgeting for this trip. I told him that I wasn't going to go over my miles and I assumed that since he printed off my statement, that he took it off and it was all good. He told me he would call me when my car was there.

An hour later I got a call and went back to get a car. He gave me all the paperwork to sign and asked if I needed insurance. I told him that my insurance covered it, but it didn't seem that he heard me. He asked me again, ad when I repeated my answer, he kept pushing me to get the insurance with them. After I bluntly told him no, he rudely asked what my deductible was. When I told him, he told me that was too high, and that I was mistaken (which I wasn't). In the end, had me initial the paper work and literally ran away from me while I was asking if he had taken off the unlimited miles, which I found he didn't.

I was shocked. I have NEVER been treated like that...EVER. However, since I was so low on time, I just jumped in the car and left. I am STILL upset about it and unfortunately, after my experience with them this time, I don't think that I will be renting from them again. I'm going to talk to the manager when I get there tomorrow to see if he can rectify some of this...so hopefully he will. :S

Anyway let's move on.

After driving to Page and getting here just before dark (you never want to drive to Page in the dark from St. George. There are a TON of deer, and the drivers are just plain SCARY). It was good to see my grandma and great grandma. My great grandma asked me if we could sing one of the songs that I sang at her 100th birthday together. It is called "Welcome to my World" and is sung by...a lot of people. Most famously Elvis and Jim Reeves.

If you ever get the chance to sing a song with a 100 year old person, you should definitely do it! :) It was so cute to hear her sing with me! :) If I can get a digital copy, I may post it. It was ADORABLE! :)

I also got the chance to make eggs benedict for the first time! :) It was super delicious. Next time, I will make my hollandaise sauce last. As I was trying to keep my sauce warm, it broke and I ended up not being able to save it--even after seeking the help of Google. Oh well. It still tasted delightful! :) Poaching eggs wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and I found the secret is the temperature of the water. If it is too hot, the egg will cook too quickly and the yolk will cook outside of the whites. If it is too cold, it takes the eggs forever to cook and the whites are more likely to disconnect from the yolk. You need the water to be at the temperature just before boiling. There will be little baby bubbles forming on the bottom of the pan. :)

For Christmas dinner, my Aunty Stacy made beef wellington. This was the first time I was trying it, and it was delicious! We also had asparagus with bacon and a bearnaise sauce, Arkansas dressing, and rolls. It was really good. We chatted with the family, and ended up watching John Wayne movies. I haven't really watched many John Wayne movies, but the one we saw was pretty awesome. Dean Martin and Angie Dickinson were in it. I think the name of it is Rio Bravo. Anyway. It was super cool.

All in all it was a great Christmas. I got a lot of awesome presents, and got to spend time with some of my favorite people. It makes me sad to leave...but I know that they are just a hop, skip, and a jump away. :)

I'll leave you with the lyrics to the song me and my GG sang together. :) Wish me luck at the rental car place!

Welcome to My World
by: Jim Reeves

Welcome to my world
Won't you come on in
Miracles I guess
Still happen now and then

Step into my heart
Leave your cares behind
Welcome to my world
Built with you in mind

Knock and the door will open
Seek and you will find
Ask and you'll be given
The key to this heart of mine

I'll be waiting here
With my arms unfurled
Waiting just for you
Welcome to my world

Waiting just for you
Welcome to my world

My family.

SO...

I recently found a picture on my brothers blog of my family. Here it is:

If you notice...there is someone important missing. ME! lol. So I made some improvements:

You're welcome. :)

Unholy Mess

It's interesting what an emotional "vomit-sesh" will do for a woman. I think I've been feeling extremely stressed lately. Pair that with a short temper and lack of sleep, and it makes a killer combo...literally. I have been on edge for the past week, and last night I finally was able to purge out all of that emotion.

Afterwards I felt AMAZING. However, I know that there are the occasional casualties from my unhealthy methods of coping with my emotions. Sorry everyone. :( I'm learning as I go here.

Anyway, I got some news today that, while in my opinion is a long time in coming, is super unfortunate for a select group of people. I don't particularly like these people. In fact, you could say that I borderline hate one of them. However, I still feel badly that they got caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar.

I think that is something that I have always believed in--the fact that if you are not being honest, it will ALWAYS catch up to you. Always. It might not be today, but eventually down the road, everything "will out" as the Brits say.

Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Hmmm...I guess I would say Modern Family, although I usually watch it online. The same with Naruto Shippuden. If I'm watching TV, I will usually have it on Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother. :)

Anywho. I'm thinking about putting up a video on YouTube of me singing a song. I haven't decided if I want to actually do it yet, but just know that it's in the works. :)

Song for the day. This is a great music vid...but you can get a seizure if you watch it, so be careful. :)

All Of The Lights
Kanye West feat. John Legend, The-Dream, Elly Jackson, Alicia Keys, Fergie, Kid Cudi, Elton John & Rihanna

[Tony Williams & Kanye West]
All of the lights
All of the lights
All of the lights
All of the lights

[Rihanna]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need
Want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

(all of the lights)

[Alicia Keys]
Fast cars, shooting stars

[Rihanna & Alicia Keys]
(all of the lights, all of the lights)
Until it's Vegas everywhere we are
(all of the lights, all of the lights)
If you want it you can get it for the rest of your life [x2]

[Kanye West]
Something wrong
I hold my head
MJ gone, our nigga dead!
I slapped my girl, she called the feds
I did that time and spent that bread
I’m heading home, I’m almost there
I’m on my way heading up the stairs
To my surprise a nigga replacing me
I had to take 'em to that ghetto university

All of the lights
Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights
Strobe lights, street lights
All of the lights
All of the lights
Fast life, drug life
Thug life, rock life
Every night
(all of the lights)

[Rihanna]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need
Want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

[Kanye West]
Restraining order
Can’t see my daughter
Her mother, brother, grandmother hate me in that order
Public visitation
We met at Borders
Told her she take me back
I’ll be more supportive
I made mistakes
I bump my head
Courts suck me dry
I spent that bread
She need a daddy
Baby please, can’t let her grow up in that ghetto university

All of the lights
Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights
Strobe lights, street lights
All of the lights
All of the lights
Fast life, drug life
Thug life, rock life
Every night
(all of the lights)

[Rihanna]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need
Want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

[Kid Cudi]
Getting mine, baby
Gotta let these niggas know, yeah
Get it right, ay
You should go and get your own

Getting mine, baby
Gotta let these niggas know, yeah
Get it right, ay
You should go and get your own

[Fergie]
Unemployment line, credit card declined
Did I not mention I was about to lose my mind?
(my mind, my mind, my mind)
And also was about to do that line
Okay, okay, you know we going all the way this time
(this time, this time, this time)
We going all the way this time
(time, time, time, time)
We going all the way this time

[Alicia Keys]
We going all the way this time

[Rihanna]
We going all the way this time

[Alicia Keys, Rihanna, Drake]
We going all the way this time

[The Dream, Tony Williams, Ryan Leslie, John Legend, Charlie Wilson, Alvin Fields, Ken Lewis]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need, want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

Music...revisited

Today's topic is MUSIC. I know it's cheating a little to blog about what my blog challenge is, but A simple blog challenge can't  sum up the way I feel about music. Music flows in my veins. I always have a song in my head. When I wake up, it's with lyrics on my lips. I can't go a day without listening to music...and I wouldn't want to. Music is my life. I love listening to it, playing it, and (toying around with) writing it. Anyway... Here is the challenge.

Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?

This is a seriously hard question...mostly because I love music so much, and I have many musicians that inspire and motivate me. SO, I'm going to cheat and name off more than one.

Family--First and foremost are the musicians that are in my family. My dad, my brothers, my uncles, my aunties, my grandparents...I don't think that I would be the same person if I didn't grow up in a musical home. Each of them has inspired me and molded me into a better person.

Fleetwood Mac--I am relatively new to the Fleetwood Mac fan club, but I LOVE their stuff!

Average White Band--A Jazz/Funk band from the 70s. Can't get better than "Cloudy."

Earth Wind & Fire--EWF. They were and are still a musical phenomenon. What else can I say???

IDK who else to put down as of this moment. I have so many musical influences, from Hawaiian music to Rock and Classical.

I would say that if you are a true music lover, it's too hard to pick just one group or artist that is your favorite, because every piece of music has the potential to fundamentally change your life. :)

Here is a song that will get your toes tappin!

Two Blogs in One Night

Man...I need to learn how to get my readership up! :)

Once again, my roommate is the only one that has noticed that I need to catch up on my blog challenge. :) Thanks Amy. :)

Anywho--since I have done a lot of free writing, I'm moving on to Day 12.

Day 12 – 15 Random Facts about you.

1. I look amazing in the color BLUE. 

2. My hair is awesome. Seriously... I don't really know anyone that is wash and wear like me. :)

3. I have an obsession with flashlights. And ball point pens.

4. I just got back from a vacation in Portland. It was AWESOME. :)

5. My feet are my best feature overall. :)

6. I use emoticons ALL THE TIME. :D

7. Things that are sparkly make me happy.

8. My ring size is 12.5.

9. If I could do one thing right now, I would make a chocolate souffle.

10. I secretly love school because I get to learn new things everyday. (Guess the secret's out! ;) )

11. I want to get a new car, but I love Blanche too much to really put effort into the search for one.  That, and I am the best procrastinator EVER!

12. Having a post office box makes me feel like an adult.

13. When I was on the plane ride home (from OR) I saw a girl knitting and thought it was amazing. I still like crochet better than knitting, but I thought that was random enough for inclusion in this list.

14. Sometimes I feel like I'm an "animal whisperer." I do really well with animals...and kids for that matter.

15. I was thinking the other day about dreams. Wouldn't it be cool if we transported every night to another dimension through our dreams, and that is why sometimes they are super vivid and stuff? I like to think about things like that in my spare time.

Anyway. I know that I've been sort of a slacker lately, but I promise that I'll be better about posting. Have a great night!

Drinking for 11
by: Mad Caddies

Drinking for eleven, that's just what I do,
When I'm not with you, my heart goes to bed

End of the bar, that's just where I'll be,
Don't try and come find me,
'Cause I'm already dead

With one eye tied upon the open road,
I feel your presence and I can't let it go
It moves so slowly as it creeps into my mind,
Steals every breath I have and leaves my heart behind

I wanna know what you're feeling if you're feeling alone,
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn't scared

When the night starts fadin' and the mornin' arrives,
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground?
Once more, tell me what you're fighting for

Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
There's nowhere left to stay

Sometimes I feel like I'm out here all alone,
Just one in a million stuck with no place left to go

Fear steps up to me with every move that I make
Following close behind my soul it wants to take

I wanna know what you're feeling if you're feeling alone,
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn't scared

When the night starts fadin' and the mornin' arrives
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground?
Once more, tell me what you're fighting for

Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
There's nowhere left to stay

Drinking for eleven, that's just what I do,
When I'm not with you, my heart goes to bed.

Motivation

I've been thinking a lot about life lately.

What defines success in your life??? Or success in general?

I know there is the 'typical' view of success, but what is success for you?

If you aren't successful are you automatically a failure?

I always thought that success would be marriage, a great job, a big house, a nice car, and raising my own family. Did I mention that I wanted to achieve all of this within the first 25 years of my life?

It may seem to be strange that I would want to do all of that so early in my life--but that is what I wanted, and what I was taught meant success. Not attaining what I perceived as "success" in life meant I was a failure.

Now, I am 27 years old, and I haven't done any of those things.  At one point in my life I felt like a failure. A HUGE failure. How could I move forward in life if I was such a huge failure at EVERYTHING I wanted for myself?

However, as I have matured I can honestly say that now I feel accomplished and overall...just GRATEFUL for what I have. I have been able to achieve so much and do so many things that I have always wanted to do. And I still am.

I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing things that we have done and things we hope to do in the near future. I'm not really the type of person to make an actual list of things that I want to do during my life, but during this discussion I realized that I have done a lot in my life. I am a successful woman. Even though my culture, religion, and even at times my family and friends have told me that I'm not enough, I know that I am.

I don't know why I'm writing this right now. I felt like it was important...so I'll leave you with a thought.

Discovering and achieving your dreams is not easy. You may not always be the best at whatever you are doing. You may not be following the "success timeline" you or someone else has set up for your life. However, it is never too late to find what you are passionate about. It is never too late to live your life.

Life is here for the living. We aren't meant to whittle our time away because we are afraid or because we don't think we have the ability to attain our dreams. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to go somewhere, go! Life is too short to limit yourself because of fear. Success is achieving your dreams. But happiness and fulfillment are found in the journey.

Get out there and start LIVING YOUR DREAMS!!!

Instead of lyrics, here is a little something from one of my favorite websites holstee.

Radio

I

am

so

EXCITED!

:)

In just a week or so, I will start training for my first ever RADIO show! :) I am SO excited. I can't even start to tell you. It's going to be epic! Me and my friend Susi will be featured in a show called "Island Fever" on KTIM, which is a grassroots community radio station here is Southern Utah. It's going to be EPIC. Seriously. When we start doing podcasts, I'll let you guys know. :)

Anyway, today was a day for learning things. I learned how to put up a large banner with stakes and zip ties. I also learned how to make a ringtone from music files! :) I made one today from one of my favorite video games, Bust-A-Groove, called Kitty-N's theme. Check it out. It's AMAZING. Anyway, I made it on a website called Myxer. It's pretty awesome! :)

Anyway, General Conference was amazing. I don't think I've ever had more spiritual guidance in a conference before. :)

Have a great week!

Weekend

Aloha!!!
How have you all been? Here, life has been pretty awesome and crazy and stressful, and overall... life! :) This weekend was the Young Single Adult Conference for our stake.

It was...AMAZING. More than amazing. I just posted this on my facebook, but it was a life-changing experience. I went to the conference with a lot on my plate and a lot of questions. I left with a light heart and a happy feeling. I haven't really felt that happy in a LONG time.

I am just SO grateful for this life. I am grateful for the love that is shown to me, even though I know I don't deserve it most days.

I took a personality test the other day with my brothers, and I was faced with the Karyn that they have known their entire life. It wasn't pretty.  I would be lying if I said that their portrayal of me and the clarity in which they have seen me in the past wasn't hurtful. However, it was true.

Too true.

I have made a resolution to try to be better. I don't want people to think I'm critical of them, or that I won't listen to them if they need me.

This weekend was the best place to see that I need to focus on what really matters. I get so...distracted by things that are so trivial. I need to take a step back and refocus my life.

A really good friend of mine is moving this week to Vegas for a job.

I am SUPER happy for him. He has been looking for a while and is going to start working at a company that offers really good opportunities for advancement.

BUT, I am WAY sad about it...even though it's only 2 hours away. I guess what really makes me sad is that I can't just drop by his place or tell him to come over to hang out. He's rambunctious and loud, but he's also really fun and we have the awesomest conversations about stuff. lol.

It's such a mixture of emotions, but I keep coming back to happy. I'm glad that he has this opportunity, and that he's moving forward with life. :)

Anywho. Life is good, and will keep getting better. I just need to get back to the basics. :)

Okay. I don't listen to a lot of country, but this one is for Chris - who played this on his iPhone three times this past weekend. lol. I think he likes it, but I can't be sure. ;)

Enjoy!

New Life

Lately I have been...

Hmm... I can't really think of the right word. Stretched thin? Over-extended?

Anyway. You get what I mean.

When I get like this (and it does happen from time to time) I try to avoid people because if you have known me for any length of time, I tend to be ... unpleasant. Grumpy. Cantankerous. (lol)

However, when you have someone who is typically in a good mood and really happy and doing what they are supposed to as your roommate (I'm talking about you, Amy), it is nearly impossible to have a bad day or to be in a bad mood for any length of time.

In fact, I find myself intrigued, enlightened, and amused at the smallest and least likely of things. It's been really cool. For instance, I made a calendar AGES ago for work, and the color combination I created on October 7th is phenomenal. It's like a spring green, orangey-pink and golden rod. It's seriously amazing.

What really inspired this blog though happened last night after a birthday party I went to. My good friend Wyatt was there playing volleyball, and he stopped playing the game and hugged me. He also told me that he missed having me around and that he wished I would make more of an effort to be a part of our social group again.

I was seriously surprised. I didn't think that it really made that much of a difference to people if I was around or not. I have been buried in school, and make that excuse to people when they ask me about where I've been, but it was nice.

Another thing happened last night that was cool too. My roomie came to my office (where I was doing homework) and just chilled with me until I was done. So, as we were sitting in the office, I finished a particularly difficult piece of my accounting homework and exclaimed, "I am amazing!"

Do you know what she said?

"It took you that long to figure that out?"

Not only was that super cool of her to say that, but it made me think.

I think I undervalue myself.

I mean...I'm not trying to be cocky or arrogant. However, I do "have a particular set of skills" (movie quote?) that I think are unique and are valuable. I think I'm pretty awesome at what I do. People come and ask me for things, and I can give them what they ask for. How fantastic is that?

I guess what I really want to say is...THANK YOU. Thanks to friends and family that support me, and inspire me to be better, and that love me unconditionally. This week I have definitely needed it, and you all have delivered beautifully.

Now, this song is the EXACT opposite of what I just said, but it has been in my head, so here you go:

I am an optimist.

I always like to look on the bright side of things. I guess I figure that it's too depressing to be pessimistic all the time. I do have pessimistic moments...I will actually seek out the worst case scenario, plan for it, and then hope for the best case scenario to happen. :)

I suppose that makes me a cautious optimist. lol.

Anyway. The reason I am writing this is because of one thing. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

People are sometimes bad and mean. They are sometimes hurtful and violent. However, I believe in the goodness of people. I believe that if you give someone a chance to prove themselves as a good and honest person, that they will.

Some people see this point of view as naive or foolish. Trust me, I know how it sounds. Rest assured that I will always have the little planner in  my head preparing me for the worst case scenario. However, most of me will trust people until they prove that they aren't trustworthy. Even then, I will give people second, third, even fourth chances.

I don't know exactly how I learned this, but I think I get it from my dad. He is one of the most forgiving and friendly people I know. I have seen people do some pretty messed up things to my dad, and he just lets it roll off his shoulders. I think I also get some of it from my mom...who invariably puts up with us (her family) even though sometimes we say or do things that are really hurtful towards her.

If you have read past posts I have written about my family, you will know that I consider myself the "black sheep" of the family. I have always gone my own way. I make my friends my family... especially when I am away from my actual family (like I am now). My brothers seem content to have their wives and kids, and that's it. I'm not sure if I would be that way.

However, I think that fact is the reason I am so forgiving of my friends. When they hurt me, when they betray me, etc. I forgive them...because that is what you do when it's your family.

I may not have the most perfect home life, and I never claimed I was anywhere near perfect. However, I DO think I have this right.

Forgiveness (is more than saying sorry! ;) What movie???) is something I am good at. Not only forgiving, but forgetting as well. I think there is a reason I have a leaky sieve for a brain. I can't remember stuff to save my life. (As is surely frustrating for everyone around me. Sorry. I can't help it.) I do remember love though. I love my family. I love my friends. I even love perfect strangers.

I know that there are bad people out there. I consider myself a pretty good judge of character, so don't worry. I won't be playing the martyr and getting myself into trouble with people that are sketchy.

I do know one thing though. People deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Challenge this week--trust someone. It might turn sour, I know... but maybe, just maybe you'll be surprised at the awesomeness that ensues.

The Case of the Missing Blogger

Wow. It's been what? Months?

You may be wondering where I've been, or what I've been doing.

Truthfully, I don't have anything super entertaining to tell you. I started my Bachelor's program and I honestly think that if I write another paper, I'll explode.

Wait for it...

Here it comes......

Huh. Nothing. I guess I can go on.

I have to write so much for school that it makes writing for fun much less appealing. However, because I love you all and because I am procrastinating some homework tonight, I am going to write a blog post. :)

I can see the excitement in your eyes. lol. Hopefully I will be able to live up to all of your blogging expectations!

A lot has happened in the past three months...and yet it has gone by so quickly. It seems like it was just yesterday when I was starting my first class, and now it's been 16 weeks and I'm in my fourth class.

I don't know how to describe to you the feeling of accomplishing something that I never thought was possible. I never thought that I would ever get my degree, and here I am--about 16 months away from achieving that goal. It's pretty cool.

Of course it isn't all fun and games. I'm tired. Like all the time. I think I have carpal tunnel from typing at a desk all day, and I'm pretty sure my eyes are starting to go.

It's all for the cause I guess. :S When I'm blind and unable to move my hands, my degree will keep me warm at night. :)

Work hasn't been too shabby either. Truth be told, I think I'm more frustrated with things now than I have EVER been, but it's manageable, and my boss is cool about confrontation, so I get to put in my 2 cents.

Have I ever told you that I love confrontation??? That and awkward moments. :) Give me an awkward moment, and I'll give you a big high five!!!

Oh, and musically, I have been exploring. It's been pretty awesome. Lately I have been listening to a lot of house, funk, electronic, and reggae. Oh, and oldies. So many oldies. I love oldies. Anything from the 90s and older... preferably from the 70s.

I really do love the 70s. Such great music, fashion, design...everything about the 70s is inspiring to me.

Anyway.

I think this is where I'll stop for tonight. I really need to do homework, and then it's off to bed for me.  Tomorrow morning is do or die time. I find out tomorrow morning if the new battery I bought fixed my car or not.

Here's hoping!

---

Feels Like Home
by: Randy Newman

There's something in your eyes,
Makes me want to lose myself,
Makes me want to lose myself, in your arms.
There's something in your voice,
Makes my heart beat fast.
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life.

If you knew how lonely my life has been,
And how long I've been so alone.
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come a - long,
And change my life the way you've done.

It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.
It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.

A window breaks down a long dark street,
And a siren wails, in the night.
But I'm all right, 'cause I have you here with me.
And I can almost see through the dark there's light.

If you knew how much this moment means to me,
And how long I've waited for your touch.
And if you knew how happy you are ma - king me,
I've never thought I'd love anyone so much.

It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.
It feels like home to me, feels like home to me,
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.

How today has been...

Have you ever felt like someone must be playing a prank on you??? I wouldn't be surprised if Ashton Kutcher came out and punk'd me right now. lol.

---

Without You
by: Pure Heart

Been a little restless since you left me.
Been thinking about all the things you've said.
And even though they say that lovin don't come easy--
Still I thought it would be different for me.

Oh you know mama, she said don't do it on your own.
But even mama needed help now and then

And I don't know if I can go any further
Without you in my life
And I don't know why the hell I even bother
Without you by my side.
Without you by my side.

Said everyone needs a hand to guide them,
but oh sometime pride gets in the way.
And my god it seems at times I'm going crazy...
still I gotta just take it day by day.

Oh you know Moses, he didn't do it on his own.
And even Daniel needed help out the den.

And I don't know if I can go any further
Without you in my life
And i don't know why the hell I even bother
Without you by my side.
Without you by my side.

Said everyone needs a hand to guide them,
but oh sometime pride gets in the way.
And my god it seems at times I'm going crazy...
still I gotta just take it day by day.

Oh you know Moses, he didn't do it on his own.
And even Daniel needed help out the den.

And I don't know if I can go any further
Without you in my life
And i don't know why the hell I even bother
Without you by my side.
Without you by my side.

Long time coming.

Wow.

I know. It's been FOREVER. Truthfully...I haven't really had a lot to say. I mean, how many times should I go over how tough school is, or how frustrating work can be? I've been trying to be more positive, so I haven't wanted to blog about that stuff.

However, I also haven't really had a lot of good going on either. Until this last week.

So it started out like any other week. I went to work...and was working on school.

On Tuesday, I made the decision t start Weight Watchers. I have been looking for a way to discipline myself, and it has been good so far. :)

On Wednesday...well. It was an interesting day. I went into work and started on some projects. Sporadically throughout my day I'll take mini breaks to refresh my perspective. These breaks can include Facebook, surfing design sites, downloading fonts... you know. Whatever I feel like doing.

Anyway. I was on Facebook, and I get a friend request from a guy from my hometown. He was good friends with my older bro, so I was like--awesome. So, I added him. In 5 mins he was messaging me, and asked me if I was married or dating someone. Within 30 mins, he had told me he had a crush on me in high school, and had given me his number and asked me to call him.
 I'm not going to lie. It sort of freaked me out.

Don't get me wrong. He was nice when we were younger, and I'm sure he's still a nice guy. I guess I'm just not used to guys being so direct with me. I don't know if I'll ever call him... mostly because I have a lot of stuff to sort out in my life before I get into any relationship. ALso--I don't really know him that well, so it would be hard for me to even consider dating. AND--my brothers told me some stuff about guys that has stuck with me through the years. Anyway.

I was flattered, but it also got me thinking. Where am I at in the "relationship" arena? Am I ready to get in the game, or am I still nursing that "old injury" and benching myself? Have I outgrown the game? Have I let myself go?

I guess that is really what I have been thinking about lately. When am I going to take control of my life again? When will simply "getting by" not be enough? I think that I'm starting to take a positive move forward.

I'm just taking life one step at a time.

---

This song has been stuck in my head. Not applicable to anything really...just a nice song. :)

How Do I Live
by: LeAnn Rimes


How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,

And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?

If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?

And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?

Tumblr and Life.

So, I am a recent user of Tumblr.

By recent I mean for a couple weeks.

And by user I mean I randomly post things on it.

It is so much more simple to post on Tumblr than it is to post a blog. It takes little to no brain power at all...whereas it takes me at least a couple of days to build up the motivation to blog. Oh well. Here I am. :)

Moving along...

I logged into school to see what my overall grade for the Math class I took was. This is what I found:

I'll admit--it wasn't my finest hour. In fact--if you can find someone who can teach themselves math, getting it 100% right the first time, I would like to meet them. BUT it is a passing grade, and I'll take what I can get when it comes to the bane of my existence math. This was the last class for me to get my Associates and move forward into my Bachelors program, so I'm glad that I passed and that I did pretty well on my final. :) Gotta love school, right???

On another note--

I've been saving up and I'm in the market for a computer. I'm looking to convert to Mac...aka Apple, because it's supposedly better for people who design. Having never used a Mac before, I don't know what the big deal is...but every single person I have talked to has recommended a Mac to me. I may be a little behind on the times, but I think I'll take the leap into the 21st century. :) Here is the one I want:

Isn't it pretty???

I haven't really decided on where I want to get it...but I like it a lot. I have been getting "hook-ups" with programs and stuff, so I think I'm headed down the right path...since everything is working out so well. :)

Anyways. I don't really have anything else to say...I made a garland for our house. It's way cute. :) lol. Okay. here are your lyrics. :) I LOVE Keri Hilson. :) She has a fab voice, and she's way pretty. :) I like this video. Look it up. :)

Enjoy your weekend!!!

Pretty Girl Rock
by: Keri Hilson

Uh uh uh ah uh uh
I can do the pretty girl rock, rock
Rock to the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Now what's your name

My name is Keri, I'm so very
Fly oh my, it's a little bit scary
Boys wanna marry, looking at my derrière
And you can stare but if you touch it Imma bury

Pretty as a picture
Sweeter than a swisher
Mad 'cause I'm cuter than the girl that's with you
I don't gotta talk about it baby you can see it
But if you want I'll be happy to repeat it

My name is Keri, I'm so very
Fly oh my, it's a little bit scary
Boys wanna marry, looking at my derrière
And you can stare but if you touch it Imma bury

Pretty as a picture
Sweeter than a swisher
Mad 'cause I'm cuter than the girl that's with you
I can talk about it 'cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault, so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

Aye, now do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock
All my ladies do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock

(Now where you at)
If your looking for me you can catch me (that's why)
Cameras flashing, daddy turned his head just as soon as I passed him
Girls think I'm conceited 'cause I know I'm attractive
Don't worry about what I think, why don't you ask him? (owoaah!)

Get yourself together, don't hate (never do it)
Jealousy is the ugliest trait (don't, never do it)
I can talk about it 'cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

Doing the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock

All my ladies do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Get along with your pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Still show me your pretty girl rock, rock, rock
All my ladies do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock

Sing it with me now
All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

Owoahaha!

The past week!

Hello, hello!

Life has a funny way of cramming all the things that need to be done all into one clump of time. That is how this last week has been for me. I hate to keep giving you excuses as to why I'm not really writing a lot, but it really is because I have been inordinately busy lately! :S

Anyway. I happen to have a spare moment now before I start working on my homework for the day. :)

SO this last week was my birthday. :) It was pretty awesome. I ended up having a birthday dinner with a bunch of friends at one of my favorite restaurants--Benja's Thai Garden. :) The party was planned by my awesome friends Susi and Amy. :)It was cool to just hang out and talk with a bunch of my friends.

Also on my birthday I got to go to the funeral of one of the Hawaiian "aunties" here in town--Aunty Dustie. I never really got to talk very much to her, but she always had a smile for me. :)

Anyway--the funeral was really nice. I think I've become a little "desensitized" to funerals. There was a point in time where I was going to funerals around once every other week--resulting in me not really getting emotional or weepy at a funeral.

I guess that's beside the point, but I was glad I went. I know the family pretty well. They are always sort of stoic and polite, but at the funeral they were so emotional. I couldn't help but to feel the loss they had just experienced. It was such a beautiful service.

Life is so fragile. I have a lot of friends that come to me for advice--and I find myself telling them to LIVE their lives and find what makes them happiest. Our lives are here for us to experience them. We should go and do those things that make us happy. We should spend our time with the people we love and care about.

I am so glad I got that reminder. :)

Moving right along--here is the challenge for the day:

Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.

My favorite place to eat is a subject of dispute. Some people would say that my favorite food is sushi, some people think it's Thai food...and some people think my favorite food is hamburgers. I happen to LOVE food in general...but my favorite place to eat is a little hole in the wall called Hayashi's You Make the Roll in Kona, HI. :) 

DELISH!!! :)


Anyway--This weekend I got to go see my grandma. :) She is so awesome! :) I totally needed a break and it was awesome to be able to get out of town and chill with my fam. :)

Anywho--here is the song for the day. I hope that you all have a great week. :) Hopefully I will be blogging more than once a week, but no promises. :) Have a good one!


Stay With Me
by: Faces

In the mornin' don't say you love me,
'Cause I'll only kick you out of the door
I know your name is Rita 'cause your perfume's smellin' sweeter
Since when I saw you down on the floor.

Won't need to much pursuadin'
I don't mean to sound degradin',
But with a face like that you got nothin' to laugh about.
Red lips, hair and fingernails,
I hear you're a mean old Jezebel
Lets go up stairs and read my Tarot cards

Stay with me, stay with me
For tonight you'd better stay with me
Stay with me, stay with me
For tonight you'd better stay with me

So, in the mornin', please don't say you love me
'Cause you know I'll only kick you out the door
Yeah, I'll pay your cab fare home, you can even use my best cologne,
Just don't be here in the mornin' when I wake up

Stay with me, stay with me
For tonight you'd gonna stay with me
Sit down, get up, get out.

Two Videos and an Opinion

If any of you have been reading or have know me for any length of time--you will know that I'm not one to go "political" on someone. I rarely take an absolute stand on politics...because truthfully, I like to be able to analyze things and decide if it resonates with truth as I know it. If my position shifts on something, I like to be able to reevaluate where I stand with things.

Of course there are things that I do believe firmly in--but that is for another discussion.

Today I want to talk briefly about our president--Barack Obama.

I'm not necessarily against him, but I don't like how he has been representing/leading our country.

Yes, he's from Hawaii. Yes, he's African American. Believe me when I say that I was even surprised that I didn't like him.

Plain and simple--I don't like his politics. I don't like how shady he is about his past. I don't see the big deal with the whole "birth certificate" thing. I was watching a video that was taken from "The View" where Donald Trump was calling Obama out to show us the original B.C. and it erupted into chaos! Everyone was yelling--Whoopi was going off about Hawaii being a state, everyone else was hard to hear because they were screeching like outraged chickens, and Barbara was trying to make it a 20/20 interview.

If you ask me, and most of you didn't/never really will... but if you did--I would tell you that when you are talking about your leaders, it should be with respect and calm. The person you decide to be your leader shouldn't confuse you or make you feel insecure. They shouldn't incite arguments and dissension within "the ranks". A Good leader should bring order. They can definitely stir the pot--in fact, they should stir the pot, but they should do it in a diplomatic and fair way. They should keep their word and lead with an even hand.

I can't say that Obama has done any of that for me. If anything since he has become the president I've actually QUESTIONED my citizenship in this great country. I've been more fearful of my future than I have ever been. I love America. I LOVE this country. I am NOT in love with our leaders.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Obama. From what I can gather (as I don't know him personally...) he is an educated, savvy person that is very charismatic. I just wish his agenda wasn't based on fear or confusion. I want a leader with a transparent agenda. Even if they are against what I believe in politically, it doesn't matter to me. I want to know where you stand. I want to see what you are trying to get at. Don't play games. Don't make me guess at where we are headed as a country.

I want change. I want to make a difference. I may not have the resources that Obama has, but I would hope that whoever our next president will be (because we DO need one--for all my anarchist friends/readers out there...we really do) that he or she will lead us away from the chaos and get us started to rebuild the country.

I know many people love Obama. I don't know if I love him. I do respect him for what he has accomplished. I would respect him more if he fit the "bill" that I have measured him against, but I don't really know if there is anyone who fits that at the moment.

There are so many things I want to say...and so many things that are on my mind. I'm even at the point where I'm getting teary eyed and emotional just trying to proof read this. lol.

Okay Karyn. Let's get to the point.

I guess the bottom line is that we need to change. We need to become better and expect more of our leaders. We need to rise against the fear and confusion and seek out calm and peace. We need to love each other more and hate each other less. We need to stop lying and cheating each other out of stuff and be more charitable. We all can make a difference. We all can make the changes that we are looking for happen.

I'm sorry if this is disjointed. It started because of one video and its ending because of another. I didn't want to post the Trump/View video because it was so negative. So, I decided to post another one. This video was shared with me by my holistic healer--Cat. There are a lot of things that I agree with in this video, as well as some stuff that I’m not too sure about. Nevertheless, I'm posting it because the overall message is what I wanted to share. I hope you watch it. I hope you think about it.

No Challenge today. My challenge to you is to look at this and let me know what you think.

Why I love my Dad.

I have been at a loss for the last two weeks.

I had a song stuck in my head and I didn't know any of the words.

Usually if I have a song stuck in my head, I can find the lyrics by mentally going over the parts I have of the song, picking out key lyrics and Googling them. However, this was NOT the case with this song. I had some lyrics but I KNEW they were wrong...so it just circled and circled in my head.

FOR TWO WEEKS!!!

"Like a splinter in your mind..." (what movie??? lol)

Anyway, one call to my Dad...who is the most amazing musician I know (so of course he knows EVERY song in the universe...well that's how it feels. :) ), and I got the song.

Just like that!

I hummed the tune to him with the iconic "la, la, la, la" on the end and he knew exactly what song had been haunting me for two weeks.

AMAZING!

I wish I was that awesome. I have a slice of it...as I am his daughter...but he has the whole cake. :)

There are more reasons why I love my Dad...I could probably write an Encyclopaedia Britannica with all the reasons why I love my Dad...but always being able to rely on him for the small things is probably one of the #1 reasons. :)

Moving right along...here is the challenge for today:

Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.

The A1 Steakhouse Burger
from Applebees!

Sad day that this was the last thing I purchased...but oh well. It was delightful! :) Go Applebees!!!

Thanks for joining us today at "you're a sword." :) Enjoy the smooth sultry lyrics of the song that haunted me for the past two weeks AND that inspired me to blog today. :) PEACE!!!

Poetry Man
by: Phoebe Snow

You make me laugh
'Cause your eyes they light the night
They look right through me
You bashful boy
You're hiding something sweet
Please give it to me yeah, to me

Talk to me some more
You don't have to go
You're the poetry man
You make things all rhyme

You are a genie
All I ask for is your smile
Each time I rub the lamp
When I am with you
I have a giggling teenage crush
Then I'm a sultry vamp, yeah sultry vamp

Talk to me some more
You don't have to go
You're the poetry man
You make things all right, yeah, yeah

Talk to me some more
You don't have to go
You're the poetry man
You make things all right, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah

So, once again
It's time to say so long
And so recall the cull of life
You're going home now
Home's that place somewhere you go each day
To see your wife, to see your wife

Talk to me some more
You know that you don't have to go
You're the poetry man
You make things all right, yeah

Talk to me some more
You don't have to go
You're the poetry man
You make things all right

Moo! D

Day 8 – A song to match your mood.

Always Be My Baby
by: Mariah Carey

Do do doop
Do do doop do doop da dum
Do do doop dum
Do do doop do doop da dum

Do do doop
Do do doop do doop da dum
Do do doop dum
Do do doop do doop da dum

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
'Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on and on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

Do do doop
Do do doop do doop da dum
Do do doop dum
Do do doop do doop da dum

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave boy
I will not stand in your way

But inevitably you'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on and on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling,'cause you'll always be my baby

(I know that you'll be back boy)
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh
(I know that)
You'll be right back, baby
Well, baby believe me it's only a matter of time, time

You'll always be apart of me
And I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on and on
(And we will linger on and on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
(Ooh baby)
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

You'll always be apart of me
And I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
(No, no)

(You and I will always be)
And we'll linger on and on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
(You and I)
No way you're never gonna shake me
(You and I)
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

(You and I will always be)
Do do doop
Do do doop do doop da dum
(No way your never gonna shake me)
Do do doop dum
(No way your never gonna shake me)
Do do doop do doop da dum

(You and I will always be)
Do do doop
Do do doop do doop da dum
Do do doop dum
(No matter what you do baby)
Do do doop do doop da dum

The Key to Success?

So, I've been super sick the past two days. It's alright. I've actually have been WAY productive. I paid off a bill, went grocery shopping, learned to make soup, decorated my bedroom, did homework (and understood it) and started playing Guitar Hero. lol. I know the last one isn't necessarily something to be proud of...lol.

Anyway. I came to the conclusion--is being sick the key to success for me??? I seem to get a TON more done when I don't work. Isn't that weird??? I have to work to pay bills and to LIVE..but truthfully, work is a necessary evil. ;)

If it were up to me--I would never have to work. I would LOVE to be able to move forward with my life and travel all around...or to do something that I wouldn't see as work...that would be even better. well...maybe that would be a bad idea. I like to be busy too. I like having a routine and being able to have deadlines and projects. :) lol.

I don't really know what I want. I just want to be happy. :)

Anyway. I guess I should keep going with my challenge...

Day 7 – Your dream wedding.

Hmm. This is a hard one. I don't really know what my dream wedding would be because it would change depending on who I marry. I have the broad strokes of what I want...I want to marry in the temple to a worthy preisthood holder. I know I want my family there...and I want to have a reception in Hawaii...but really, after that I don't really know.

Anywho.

She Works Hard For The Money
by: Donna Summer

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

Onetta there in the corner stand
and wonders where she is and
it's strange to her
some people seem to have everything

Nine a.m. on the hour hand
and she's waiting for the bell
and she's looking real pretty
just wait for her clientele

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

Twenty five years have
come and gone
and she' seen a lot of tears
of the ones who come in
they really seem to need her there

It's a sacrifice working day to day
for little money just tips for pay
But it's worth it all
just to hear them say that they care

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

She already knows
she's seen her bad times
she already knows
these are the good times

She'll never sell out
she never will
not for a dollar bill
she works hard

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

She works hard for the money
so hard for it honey
she works hard for the money
so you better treat her right

Forget you! ;)

I'm trying to memorize a song. Something you should know about me is that I am really awesome at memorizing songs. Like...really good. I listen to the song enough and can recompose the song in my mind...drum beats, back up singers...whatever.  lol. I guess I would be REALLY awesome if I knew how to write all that information into music...but I can't. :) It's all god though. I have more than enough songs in my mind to keep me happily entertained for years to come. :)

Challenge for the day:

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

---

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted a...

Polar Bear! :)

I love Love LOVE polar bears. I don't really know what it is about them that is so awesome to me...but when I saw the Golden Compass (which I recommend...almost as good as the book) I was SO jealous! ;) Well... he wasn't really a pet, but he did pledge his allegiance to the girl...so same thing right?

Moving right along. :) I started working out this week. I need to stay on track this time...if for nothing else than the fact that working out regulates my moods and keeps me happy. :) This isn't the first time I've attempted to have a "work out program," but this IS the first time that I have actually been able to find a way to have fun with it, so wish me luck! :)

Anyway. Life is pretty awesome. Last night I made curry chicken and mashed butternut squash. It was SOOO good. Seriously. I have never cooked squash or curry before and it ended up being AMAZING! ;) Seriously though. It was good. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything. It was really delicious. lol.

Okay. I'll end it before I go overboard about how much of a WONDERFUL cook I am. ;)

Lovefool
by:The Cardigans

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not reach a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
lead me lead me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

(anything but you)

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
Love me love me
I know that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Of course!

Something you all should know about me is that I have no problem saying no to someone if they ask me for something I don't either have to ability to do or the motivation to do. Some people have a hard time saying no...but I have never struggled with it.

However, lately I have been asked by many different people to do a lot of design stuff. I like doing design...don"t get me wrong. BUT, it's been really overwhelming. I have so much to do and so little time. One of these days I'll catch up. I hope. :S

Here is the challenge for today:

Day 5 – A photo of yourself two years ago.

 A GLORIOUS picture of me. :) You're welcome!!!

Anywho. Here's the song for today. :)

Don't You Want Me
by: Human League

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too

Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do

Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh

Nostalgic Mountain

Today's challenge was difficult because it was supposed to be a picture of my best friend. Well, I have a bunch of best friends, so I made a collage. Of course this is only a small sampling as I don't have pictures of everyone. :)

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend(s).

I LOVE these people... and I love these pictures!!! :) Good times!!!!!

Anyway. today was pretty cool. We got a new director at work. I'm pretty stoked. I think he'll be awesome. :) Anyway. I have to get going. More on life later. Take care of you!!!!!

Victory
by: Trampled by Turtles

All of us lonely, it ain't a sin
to want something better, then the shape your in.
The rain came at the break of day
your light in the window pane, said come on in.

It's a broken heart babe, I know the sound
Feels like your hands, are nailed to the ground,
but it'll pass just like everything else.
You won't let it get to me, the next time around

It's a hard earned victory
The life that came from you to me
Could never be wrong

Grown from a moment and a million miles
Here lies the stardust and it slowly dies
Borrowed from nothing come back half alive,
and the stars the whisper blessings as you walk by

Post it

This is not a challenge blog. I am compiling things for that. I just thought I would get on here and say...

I'm sorry. :'(

Behind in...

Aloha All!

Well, I'm behind...in EVERYTHING! I've been fighting off whatever sickness is going around as well as trying to get a decent grade in my newest math class. It's been stressful, but it's all good. I like taking classes one at a time. It makes me feel like I'm actually able to absorb everything. :)

Anyway...this is a couple of days late, but here is the challenge:

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.

My perfect date would be August 25, because its not too hot not too cold...all you need is a light jacket. ;)


Just kidding. (what movie???)


Hmm. I'm not really the romantic type, so I guess my perfect date would be a barbecue at his house with a bunch of friends and games. :) I just really like hanging out with people...and what better way to bring people together than a good old fashioned BBQ??? ;)

Anywho.

Life has been...fascinating to say the least. There have been a lot of stuff going down. I guess I shouldn't have complained about life being boring, because there is just a lot going on now. lol.  It will be interesting to see how it all works out.

I guess since Valentines was a couple of days ago that it's safe for me to talk about my love life without being lumped into that category...you know. The one where people talk about love because it's "in the air" or whatever. lol. IDK what I'm saying really, but here it goes.

I thought that I had everything figured out. I really thought that I was in a good place with love and what I wanted out of life in regards to a relationship, etc. It seems that things always seem to get shot to hell when I'm comfortable. (sorry. I don't now how else to say it...) Maybe I just need to make it a habit to never have opinions or set ideas about things because they always change.

Love (in this instance aka "like," "lust," and "infatuation") is a lot like a storm. When you're in the middle of it, sometimes it's hard to think that there is anything around you that is more important that what is happening to you right at that moment. Sometimes it's so thick in there that you fail to see things that are right in front of you. Sometimes we choose to not see it. Like the ostrich, we stick out heads in the sand and try to wait any problems out..Hoping against all hope that it will all settle down into a comfortable place ans that we can continue on as we did before.

Unfortunately it isn't true. It's there and it's real (in most cases). However, we need to remind ourselves that there are things that are bigger and more important than our little "storm." I've been caught up in a storm. I've ignored the signs around me that there was danger. I have been that ostrich. Sticking my head in the ground so that I don't have to face the truth.

Sometimes we have to pull out heads out and take a breath of fresh air to get perspective.

Some people say that love makes the world go around. I don't know if I believe that is true. Love is a strong emotion, and through great emotion we can accomplish a lot. But for me...love doesn't make the world move. Love isn't what makes me want to live day to day. I feel like that girl in that movie that says, "I don't feel anything about love."

I know I haven't always felt that way.

I know that I won't feel like this forever.

But it's how I feel today. Not in a depressed, "My life sucks" kind of way. It's more like just a statement of the facts.

Is it bad to feel apathetic right now??? Huh.

Anyway.

Meant To Live
by: Switchfoot

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we’ve been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we’re bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live