Friday, July 31, 2009

Potato Salad

I don't necessarily have anything important to say. I had an emotional breakdown last night. I've been overdue, so it was nice. I feel Extraordinarily tired today... probably due to the fact that I was in hysterics and had to call my brother Adam to calm me down. Thanks Adam! I know I can always call you at 1 am here (9pm there) when I'm having emotional turmoil. :)

I decided that I really will need some sort of way to weed out bad future husband 'potentials.' Like a survey or something like a 'pop quiz.' The reason being that I don't want some guy that will say something similar to:

"Well, I didn't really think they meant eternity... did you?"
"This is just getting too hard."
"If you don't stay home with the kids, it's over."
or my favorite:
"I think 20 years is good enough... and I don't love you anymore."

These are all actual things people who are close to me have been told by their spouse in the past 2 years. If you think about it, marriage really is a lot like Russian roulette now days. How are you supposed to know that whoever you're marrying won't turn out to be a jerk? That they won't decide one day that marriage is just too hard, and they want out?

Marriage is supposed to be hard sometimes. If you don't struggle with someone, how can you expect to stay together? Life isn't easy. It never will be, and when you're married, you have to deal with a lot of crap. Don't people understand that out of adversity comes understanding? Heavenly Father KNOWS what we are capable of, but how will we know unless we are pushed to the limit?

I guess I'm becoming jaded to the concept of marriage.

I was reading this blog, and I really do agree with her. I'm tired of what my friend Susi calls the "Peter Pan" Syndrome. Guys (It seems especially here in St. George) just don't want to 'grow up'. They think marriage is something amounting to them slacking off for the rest of their lives, and the women clean up after them, cook their meals, and make babies.

Don't get me wrong. I am happy to have my own family, and I love cooking, but marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Since when has it become the 'standard' that women stay at home and men go "bring home the bacon"? I think that's why I love my family so much. My older brother is a stay at home dad. He is pursuing his career, but his wife has the steady job. AND my oldest brother is always encouraging his wife to pursue her career and be the best she can be. What up guys?

I guess I'm mostly irritated at the fact that guys here are looking for a "Stepford Wife" or as Susi calls it, the potato salad. You know... when you're at a bbq, you always try the potato salad. It's the same with some girls. They get all the attention, and the other side dishes are overlooked. (I know I'm referring to women as food, which seems counter productive... but we all know that Mormons Like Analogies.) But, like I said to Susi the other night. I don't want to be the potato salad. I want a man to love me for who I am... not what I look like. AND, If you find someone that likes (for instance) rice, they will eat rice for every meal for the rest of their lives. You can only eat so much potato salad...

A note from me to all you 'Peter Pans' out there. Stop being intimidated by strong, educated women. We're AWESOME!!! Funny, interesting, thought provoking, and I'd like to think, way good looking. (I'm referring to myself... ;) )

I guess love and marriage will come later. I have my whole life ahead of me.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fixing my face

SO, a lot of you know that I have 3 brothers.

I was chatting today with the youngest, Sean. We were basically complaining to each other... him about the costs of education, me about life in general...

Anyway, at the end of the conversation, he told me to 'Fix my face.' Some of you may not know my family, but we are straight up with each other when something is bothering us, when we're being too emotional or WHATEVER. 'Fix your face' is something we say to each other as a way to express: "You are being entirely too critical and emotional. You need to readjust your attitude and stop complaining. Thank you for your cooperation."

So, I'm blogging to fix my face.

I don't know why I am emotional. I don't know why I've been whining. It's not like me to complain all the time. I've never been one to be envious, etc. Why is it that when I come to the mainland, all I can do is complain? I should be GRATEFUL!!!

I Love my life. I have good friends, an awesome place to live, a great job, a fantastic family... I should be shouting from the rooftops about how amazing this life is. I'm a lot better off than a lot of other people...

I'm going to stop complaining.

Face = Fixed. :)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

off-putting...

I think something about my personality is off-putting to some people. I like to think that I am a nice person, but... who knows??? My friend Susi says it's because I don't care. Care about what??? I care. Just because I don't think I should have to pretend to care when I really don't...

Is that what is comes down to??? Pretending things matter so that other people can feel good about themselves??? Wouldn't it be better for all of us if everyone just told the truth??? Maybe not. What would the world be like if everyone told the truth, no matter what? I'd like to think that it would be a lot better than it is now... but maybe we need those lies. Are the lies we tell to each other AND ourselves really that important to a civilized society? Who knows...

I've been feeling especially philosophical and punchy lately. I just want to argue. With everyone. Argue isn't the right word... DEBATE!!! I want a debate. Do they have debate clubs for the elderly? I need to join one.

I just have to keep to my mantra: Life is good... life is good... life is good...