Potato Salad

I don't necessarily have anything important to say. I had an emotional breakdown last night. I've been overdue, so it was nice. I feel Extraordinarily tired today... probably due to the fact that I was in hysterics and had to call my brother Adam to calm me down. Thanks Adam! I know I can always call you at 1 am here (9pm there) when I'm having emotional turmoil. :)

I decided that I really will need some sort of way to weed out bad future husband 'potentials.' Like a survey or something like a 'pop quiz.' The reason being that I don't want some guy that will say something similar to:

"Well, I didn't really think they meant eternity... did you?"
"This is just getting too hard."
"If you don't stay home with the kids, it's over."
or my favorite:
"I think 20 years is good enough... and I don't love you anymore."

These are all actual things people who are close to me have been told by their spouse in the past 2 years. If you think about it, marriage really is a lot like Russian roulette now days. How are you supposed to know that whoever you're marrying won't turn out to be a jerk? That they won't decide one day that marriage is just too hard, and they want out?

Marriage is supposed to be hard sometimes. If you don't struggle with someone, how can you expect to stay together? Life isn't easy. It never will be, and when you're married, you have to deal with a lot of crap. Don't people understand that out of adversity comes understanding? Heavenly Father KNOWS what we are capable of, but how will we know unless we are pushed to the limit?

I guess I'm becoming jaded to the concept of marriage.

I was reading this blog, and I really do agree with her. I'm tired of what my friend Susi calls the "Peter Pan" Syndrome. Guys (It seems especially here in St. George) just don't want to 'grow up'. They think marriage is something amounting to them slacking off for the rest of their lives, and the women clean up after them, cook their meals, and make babies.

Don't get me wrong. I am happy to have my own family, and I love cooking, but marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Since when has it become the 'standard' that women stay at home and men go "bring home the bacon"? I think that's why I love my family so much. My older brother is a stay at home dad. He is pursuing his career, but his wife has the steady job. AND my oldest brother is always encouraging his wife to pursue her career and be the best she can be. What up guys?

I guess I'm mostly irritated at the fact that guys here are looking for a "Stepford Wife" or as Susi calls it, the potato salad. You know... when you're at a bbq, you always try the potato salad. It's the same with some girls. They get all the attention, and the other side dishes are overlooked. (I know I'm referring to women as food, which seems counter productive... but we all know that Mormons Like Analogies.) But, like I said to Susi the other night. I don't want to be the potato salad. I want a man to love me for who I am... not what I look like. AND, If you find someone that likes (for instance) rice, they will eat rice for every meal for the rest of their lives. You can only eat so much potato salad...

A note from me to all you 'Peter Pans' out there. Stop being intimidated by strong, educated women. We're AWESOME!!! Funny, interesting, thought provoking, and I'd like to think, way good looking. (I'm referring to myself... ;) )

meh. I have my whole life ahead of me.

Fixing my face

SO, a lot of you know that I have 3 brothers.

I was chatting today with the youngest, Sean. We were basically complaining to each other... him about the costs of education, me about life in general...

Anyway, at the end of the conversation, he told me to 'Fix my face.' Some of you may not know my family, but we are straight up with each other when something is bothering us, when we're being too emotional or WHATEVER. 'Fix your face' is something we say to each other as a way to express: "You are being entirely too critical and emotional. You need to readjust your attitude and stop complaining. Thank you for your cooperation."

So, I'm blogging to fix my face.

I don't know why I am emotional. I don't know why I've been whining. It's not like me to complain all the time. I've never been one to be envious, etc. Why is it that when I come to the mainland, all I can do is complain? I should be GRATEFUL!!!

I Love my life. I have good friends, an awesome place to live, a great job, a fantastic family... I should be shouting from the rooftops about how amazing this life is. I'm a lot better off than a lot of other people...

I'm going to stop complaining.

Face = Fixed. :)

off-putting...

I think something about my personality is off-putting to some people. I like to think that I am a nice person, but... who knows??? My friend Susi says it's because I don't care. Care about what??? I care. Just because I don't think I should have to pretend to care when I really don't...

Is that what is comes down to??? Pretending things matter so that other people can feel good about themselves??? Wouldn't it be better for all of us if everyone just told the truth??? Maybe not. What would the world be like if everyone told the truth, no matter what? I'd like to think that it would be a lot better than it is now... but maybe we need those lies. Are the lies we tell to each other AND ourselves really that important to a civilized society? Who knows...

I've been feeling especially philosophical and punchy lately. I just want to argue. With everyone. Argue isn't the right word... DEBATE!!! I want a debate. Do they have debate clubs for the elderly? I need to join one.

I just have to keep to my mantra: Life is good... life is good... life is good...

Bill Nye the Science Guy

One of my favorite television shows of all time is Bill Nye the Science Guy. If you haven't ever seen this TV show, I encourage you to watch it. He has such a great presence AND you're learning about the world as you watch! :) Here is a link to a pretty sweet episode called 'Dinosaurs': LINK. FANTASTIC piece of television history. :)

Life has been pretty laid back lately. I feel like there needs to be a change somewhere in my life, but I haven't quite figured out what I want to change. Thanks for listening. :)

Toradora! and rethinking things...

So, some of you may not know this about me, but I LOVE watching Japanese Anime. :)

My favorite of all time is Naruto, but lately I've been watching an anime called Toradora!. It's about a group of High School kids, and what happens to them as they go through their last year of school together. If you're interested in watching, Click Here. Such a great show.

I guess what is really bringing on this blog is something with the storyline of Toradora! that relates to my life. I want to publicly apologize to Jim. I've mentioned him a couple of times, but I want to set the record straight. I've made him out to be a really jerky guy... but in actuality, I should be grateful to him. He was a great friend to me, and now that I look back, he really did try to spare my feelings. I know that I was just too pig headed and stubborn to really understand. I'm grateful for the experiences that we had, and I'm finally learning to grow from them. I just wish that I could talk to him about it. Unfortunately I can't... but if you happen to come across this, I'm sorry. I want nothing but happiness for you and your wife (and in the future, kids! ;) ) You never deserved any of my bitterness. I know you were trying to be a good friend to me, and I ruined it for the both of us. You will never have to worry about me again, because I FINALLY understand what those years were about. I hope in the future that we can rebuild what we had... a really good friendship. Thank you for being there for me when no one else was. You will never know how much you saved me from, and how you changed my perspective on things. Good luck in the future, and be good to your wife.

I hope one day he can forgive me.

Equip Yourselves!

Hello All!!!

So, I've noticed that a lot of my blogs are sort of "Gloom & Doom" types. Sort of weird because I perceive myself as a positive and optimistic person... Hmm... Sorry about that. I'll continue to try to be funny and witty in my future blogging. :)

This weekend I took a concealed weapons class. I have been thinking a lot about purchasing a firearm for my personal protection and well being, so when my Uncle told me he was teaching a class this weekend, I took him up on the offer. :) It was a pretty cool class. I like my Uncle a lot, and we get along pretty well, so it was cool to chill with him in his element.

I'm still not sure about the whole "I am willing to take another person's life" aspect of guns, but taking the class REALLY taught me a lot about perceptions of weapons AND why it is important to have the ability to not only to purchase a firearm, but to have the RIGHT to bear arms.

Our constitution CLEARLY states that we have the right to bear arms. This means (for all those who are a little slow on the uptake) that we, as American Citizens, have the right to own a gun for personal and familial protection. I am SO happy I live in the United States of America. This really is a great country. It's sad to see corruption and idiocy... BUT Susi eased my mind somewhat when she reminded me that the Priesthood will save the country. I truly believe that.

Anyways, Overall a good weekend. It was EASTER... which I don't really ever celebrate, but it was fun anyway. I went to the Lafaele's and had pork and chicken and slept on their back porch. It was way fun. :)

Also watched Slumdog Millionaire this weekend. It was a pretty good movie. A little disturbing at some parts, but overall well done. I think it's earned it's rating of 'R' but, it's mostly because of the 'theme.' It's set in the slums of India, so you can use your imagination.

Something I stumbled over this morning... for all you peeps who do not know what this is a cartoon of, Google burqua, and you can educate yourself. :) I hope you ENJOY! :)

Arizona

For my birthday, I was lucky enough to be able to go to Arizona twice. :) The first time was to Page, to spend time with my grandma and Uncle Kelly, who's birthday is the day before mine. It was good times! AND I got to have a steak. :)

The second time was a road trip to Phoenix, planned and executed by my friend Susi. I have to admit, that starting out, I was more than a little anxious about the whole thing.

If you haven't noticed, I'm somewhat obsessive compulsive.

Unfortunately, Susi is not, and she tends to like to 'leave me in the dark' on purpose to 'break' me of my OCD-ness. Good luck with that. ;)

SO, I'm sitting at home, worrying about not having enough stuff with me. Do I need a swim suit? Do I need some major allergy medicine? Do they have wi-fi there? You know, the norm. And the anxiety grows and grows all night. Thursday, (the day we left) I ask Susi stupid questions like: Are we hiking? (lol... not likely) Do I need a pillow? Is my bag too big? etc. I'm actually surprised that she was so patient with me. Maybe she took pity on me. :)

We left Thursday night, and took a 6 hour drive to Phoenix... wait. 7. It was a nice drive. I wish it was light... I like long drives where I can admire the scenery. Highlight of the drive down was DEFINITELY the Hoover Dam Suspension Bridge. Amazing piece of architecture. :) Also a highlight-- I got some cool glasses that I've dubbed 'Dorothy Glasses' because they remind me of the glasses that one of our volunteers, Dorothy, wears. :)

Some may ask, why did you take a road trip??? Well, the simple answer is... because we could. Also, it was supposed to be a combined birthday trip. We originally wanted to take our friend Lani with us, because her birthday is in April, BUT unfortunately she couldn't come. :( Any who... back to the story...

Phoenix is home to one of my favorite places to eat... The George and Dragon Pub. :) A pub with British food. Not really anything to blink at, but the food is exceptional, if not VERY good. (even though the service was atrocious. I think the waitress was wanting to serve the drunkards instead of us 'eating folk'...) While in Phoenix, we went to the Mesa Chamber of Commerce, the temple, and the Biltmore Shopping Center.

Saturday morning, we headed to Tuba City and Cameron. It was a really nice drive. On the way to Flagstaff, there were a lot of places that looked like Kona. It really made me homesick. :S Any ways...

So, we get to Tuba, and visit the Justice family. Super nice family. We actually met up with two of the older Justice kids in Phoenix. Their family is so nice!!! :) They also own all the "Pizza Edge" restaurants in the Tuba area. They totally hooked us up. It was AWESOME!!!

We stayed at the Cameron Trading Post. Really nice rooms and WAY good Navajo Tacos. :) Went to the Grand Canyon as well. SOOO beautiful! I really liked it a lot. We stopped at a gulch on the way back, and it was really cool. There were some really awesome signs along the way that explained flora and fauna. It was SUPER cool.

After the gulch, we stopped on the side of the road and Susi had some mutton and hominy stew. We also got some of the best fry-bread I've ever had.

On the way home, we saw the Vermilion Cliffs. I just really like that word. VERMILION... :)

All in all a great trip. I think on my next road trip, I'll have better musical selections. Also, probably will save up some more money, and look for antique shops. :)