My family.

SO...

I recently found a picture on my brothers blog of my family. Here it is:

If you notice...there is someone important missing. ME! lol. So I made some improvements:

You're welcome. :)

Unholy Mess

It's interesting what an emotional "vomit-sesh" will do for a woman. I think I've been feeling extremely stressed lately. Pair that with a short temper and lack of sleep, and it makes a killer combo...literally. I have been on edge for the past week, and last night I finally was able to purge out all of that emotion.

Afterwards I felt AMAZING. However, I know that there are the occasional casualties from my unhealthy methods of coping with my emotions. Sorry everyone. :( I'm learning as I go here.

Anyway, I got some news today that, while in my opinion is a long time in coming, is super unfortunate for a select group of people. I don't particularly like these people. In fact, you could say that I borderline hate one of them. However, I still feel badly that they got caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar.

I think that is something that I have always believed in--the fact that if you are not being honest, it will ALWAYS catch up to you. Always. It might not be today, but eventually down the road, everything "will out" as the Brits say.

Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Hmmm...I guess I would say Modern Family, although I usually watch it online. The same with Naruto Shippuden. If I'm watching TV, I will usually have it on Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother. :)

Anywho. I'm thinking about putting up a video on YouTube of me singing a song. I haven't decided if I want to actually do it yet, but just know that it's in the works. :)

Song for the day. This is a great music vid...but you can get a seizure if you watch it, so be careful. :)

All Of The Lights
Kanye West feat. John Legend, The-Dream, Elly Jackson, Alicia Keys, Fergie, Kid Cudi, Elton John & Rihanna

[Tony Williams & Kanye West]
All of the lights
All of the lights
All of the lights
All of the lights

[Rihanna]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need
Want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

(all of the lights)

[Alicia Keys]
Fast cars, shooting stars

[Rihanna & Alicia Keys]
(all of the lights, all of the lights)
Until it's Vegas everywhere we are
(all of the lights, all of the lights)
If you want it you can get it for the rest of your life [x2]

[Kanye West]
Something wrong
I hold my head
MJ gone, our nigga dead!
I slapped my girl, she called the feds
I did that time and spent that bread
I’m heading home, I’m almost there
I’m on my way heading up the stairs
To my surprise a nigga replacing me
I had to take 'em to that ghetto university

All of the lights
Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights
Strobe lights, street lights
All of the lights
All of the lights
Fast life, drug life
Thug life, rock life
Every night
(all of the lights)

[Rihanna]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need
Want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

[Kanye West]
Restraining order
Can’t see my daughter
Her mother, brother, grandmother hate me in that order
Public visitation
We met at Borders
Told her she take me back
I’ll be more supportive
I made mistakes
I bump my head
Courts suck me dry
I spent that bread
She need a daddy
Baby please, can’t let her grow up in that ghetto university

All of the lights
Cop lights, flash lights, spot lights
Strobe lights, street lights
All of the lights
All of the lights
Fast life, drug life
Thug life, rock life
Every night
(all of the lights)

[Rihanna]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need
Want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

[Kid Cudi]
Getting mine, baby
Gotta let these niggas know, yeah
Get it right, ay
You should go and get your own

Getting mine, baby
Gotta let these niggas know, yeah
Get it right, ay
You should go and get your own

[Fergie]
Unemployment line, credit card declined
Did I not mention I was about to lose my mind?
(my mind, my mind, my mind)
And also was about to do that line
Okay, okay, you know we going all the way this time
(this time, this time, this time)
We going all the way this time
(time, time, time, time)
We going all the way this time

[Alicia Keys]
We going all the way this time

[Rihanna]
We going all the way this time

[Alicia Keys, Rihanna, Drake]
We going all the way this time

[The Dream, Tony Williams, Ryan Leslie, John Legend, Charlie Wilson, Alvin Fields, Ken Lewis]
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need, want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

[Alicia Keys & La Roux]
Whoaa-oh-whoa
Whoaa-oh-whoa-oh

[Elton John]
I tried to tell you but all I could say is oh

Music...revisited

Today's topic is MUSIC. I know it's cheating a little to blog about what my blog challenge is, but A simple blog challenge can't  sum up the way I feel about music. Music flows in my veins. I always have a song in my head. When I wake up, it's with lyrics on my lips. I can't go a day without listening to music...and I wouldn't want to. Music is my life. I love listening to it, playing it, and (toying around with) writing it. Anyway... Here is the challenge.

Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?

This is a seriously hard question...mostly because I love music so much, and I have many musicians that inspire and motivate me. SO, I'm going to cheat and name off more than one.

Family--First and foremost are the musicians that are in my family. My dad, my brothers, my uncles, my aunties, my grandparents...I don't think that I would be the same person if I didn't grow up in a musical home. Each of them has inspired me and molded me into a better person.

Fleetwood Mac--I am relatively new to the Fleetwood Mac fan club, but I LOVE their stuff!

Average White Band--A Jazz/Funk band from the 70s. Can't get better than "Cloudy."

Earth Wind & Fire--EWF. They were and are still a musical phenomenon. What else can I say???

IDK who else to put down as of this moment. I have so many musical influences, from Hawaiian music to Rock and Classical.

I would say that if you are a true music lover, it's too hard to pick just one group or artist that is your favorite, because every piece of music has the potential to fundamentally change your life. :)

Here is a song that will get your toes tappin!

Two Blogs in One Night

Man...I need to learn how to get my readership up! :)

Once again, my roommate is the only one that has noticed that I need to catch up on my blog challenge. :) Thanks Amy. :)

Anywho--since I have done a lot of free writing, I'm moving on to Day 12.

Day 12 – 15 Random Facts about you.

1. I look amazing in the color BLUE. 

2. My hair is awesome. Seriously... I don't really know anyone that is wash and wear like me. :)

3. I have an obsession with flashlights. And ball point pens.

4. I just got back from a vacation in Portland. It was AWESOME. :)

5. My feet are my best feature overall. :)

6. I use emoticons ALL THE TIME. :D

7. Things that are sparkly make me happy.

8. My ring size is 12.5.

9. If I could do one thing right now, I would make a chocolate souffle.

10. I secretly love school because I get to learn new things everyday. (Guess the secret's out! ;) )

11. I want to get a new car, but I love Blanche too much to really put effort into the search for one.  That, and I am the best procrastinator EVER!

12. Having a post office box makes me feel like an adult.

13. When I was on the plane ride home (from OR) I saw a girl knitting and thought it was amazing. I still like crochet better than knitting, but I thought that was random enough for inclusion in this list.

14. Sometimes I feel like I'm an "animal whisperer." I do really well with animals...and kids for that matter.

15. I was thinking the other day about dreams. Wouldn't it be cool if we transported every night to another dimension through our dreams, and that is why sometimes they are super vivid and stuff? I like to think about things like that in my spare time.

Anyway. I know that I've been sort of a slacker lately, but I promise that I'll be better about posting. Have a great night!

Drinking for 11
by: Mad Caddies

Drinking for eleven, that's just what I do,
When I'm not with you, my heart goes to bed

End of the bar, that's just where I'll be,
Don't try and come find me,
'Cause I'm already dead

With one eye tied upon the open road,
I feel your presence and I can't let it go
It moves so slowly as it creeps into my mind,
Steals every breath I have and leaves my heart behind

I wanna know what you're feeling if you're feeling alone,
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn't scared

When the night starts fadin' and the mornin' arrives,
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground?
Once more, tell me what you're fighting for

Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
There's nowhere left to stay

Sometimes I feel like I'm out here all alone,
Just one in a million stuck with no place left to go

Fear steps up to me with every move that I make
Following close behind my soul it wants to take

I wanna know what you're feeling if you're feeling alone,
I wanna hear if you still care
The last time I remember you was the last time I wasn't scared

When the night starts fadin' and the mornin' arrives
I wanna still feel you around
Will you creep into my head again and pick me up off the ground?
Once more, tell me what you're fighting for

Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
Gotta try, gotta try for tomorrow
you can't see through today
There's nowhere left to stay

Drinking for eleven, that's just what I do,
When I'm not with you, my heart goes to bed.

Motivation

I've been thinking a lot about life lately.

What defines success in your life??? Or success in general?

I know there is the 'typical' view of success, but what is success for you?

If you aren't successful are you automatically a failure?

I always thought that success would be marriage, a great job, a big house, a nice car, and raising my own family. Did I mention that I wanted to achieve all of this within the first 25 years of my life?

It may seem to be strange that I would want to do all of that so early in my life--but that is what I wanted, and what I was taught meant success. Not attaining what I perceived as "success" in life meant I was a failure.

Now, I am 27 years old, and I haven't done any of those things.  At one point in my life I felt like a failure. A HUGE failure. How could I move forward in life if I was such a huge failure at EVERYTHING I wanted for myself?

However, as I have matured I can honestly say that now I feel accomplished and overall...just GRATEFUL for what I have. I have been able to achieve so much and do so many things that I have always wanted to do. And I still am.

I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing things that we have done and things we hope to do in the near future. I'm not really the type of person to make an actual list of things that I want to do during my life, but during this discussion I realized that I have done a lot in my life. I am a successful woman. Even though my culture, religion, and even at times my family and friends have told me that I'm not enough, I know that I am.

I don't know why I'm writing this right now. I felt like it was important...so I'll leave you with a thought.

Discovering and achieving your dreams is not easy. You may not always be the best at whatever you are doing. You may not be following the "success timeline" you or someone else has set up for your life. However, it is never too late to find what you are passionate about. It is never too late to live your life.

Life is here for the living. We aren't meant to whittle our time away because we are afraid or because we don't think we have the ability to attain our dreams. If you want to do something, do it. If you want to go somewhere, go! Life is too short to limit yourself because of fear. Success is achieving your dreams. But happiness and fulfillment are found in the journey.

Get out there and start LIVING YOUR DREAMS!!!

Instead of lyrics, here is a little something from one of my favorite websites holstee.

Radio

I

am

so

EXCITED!

:)

In just a week or so, I will start training for my first ever RADIO show! :) I am SO excited. I can't even start to tell you. It's going to be epic! Me and my friend Susi will be featured in a show called "Island Fever" on KTIM, which is a grassroots community radio station here is Southern Utah. It's going to be EPIC. Seriously. When we start doing podcasts, I'll let you guys know. :)

Anyway, today was a day for learning things. I learned how to put up a large banner with stakes and zip ties. I also learned how to make a ringtone from music files! :) I made one today from one of my favorite video games, Bust-A-Groove, called Kitty-N's theme. Check it out. It's AMAZING. Anyway, I made it on a website called Myxer. It's pretty awesome! :)

Anyway, General Conference was amazing. I don't think I've ever had more spiritual guidance in a conference before. :)

Have a great week!

Weekend

Aloha!!!
How have you all been? Here, life has been pretty awesome and crazy and stressful, and overall... life! :) This weekend was the Young Single Adult Conference for our stake.

It was...AMAZING. More than amazing. I just posted this on my facebook, but it was a life-changing experience. I went to the conference with a lot on my plate and a lot of questions. I left with a light heart and a happy feeling. I haven't really felt that happy in a LONG time.

I am just SO grateful for this life. I am grateful for the love that is shown to me, even though I know I don't deserve it most days.

I took a personality test the other day with my brothers, and I was faced with the Karyn that they have known their entire life. It wasn't pretty.  I would be lying if I said that their portrayal of me and the clarity in which they have seen me in the past wasn't hurtful. However, it was true.

Too true.

I have made a resolution to try to be better. I don't want people to think I'm critical of them, or that I won't listen to them if they need me.

This weekend was the best place to see that I need to focus on what really matters. I get so...distracted by things that are so trivial. I need to take a step back and refocus my life.

A really good friend of mine is moving this week to Vegas for a job.

I am SUPER happy for him. He has been looking for a while and is going to start working at a company that offers really good opportunities for advancement.

BUT, I am WAY sad about it...even though it's only 2 hours away. I guess what really makes me sad is that I can't just drop by his place or tell him to come over to hang out. He's rambunctious and loud, but he's also really fun and we have the awesomest conversations about stuff. lol.

It's such a mixture of emotions, but I keep coming back to happy. I'm glad that he has this opportunity, and that he's moving forward with life. :)

Anywho. Life is good, and will keep getting better. I just need to get back to the basics. :)

Okay. I don't listen to a lot of country, but this one is for Chris - who played this on his iPhone three times this past weekend. lol. I think he likes it, but I can't be sure. ;)

Enjoy!