Happy holidays.
If you know me really well (or apparently read this blog post), you know that I love Thanksgiving with all my heart and sort of don't like Christmas. I know, I know. It's almost blasphemous to even think that Christmas is anything but my favorite holiday in certain circles. People have actually started yelling in my face when I have stated that Thanksgiving is clearly the better holiday, but I digress.
I have my opinions and you have yours. Luckily we're on my blog, so you don't really have a say in the disagreement--whatever your favorite holiday may be. I will tell you why mine is Thanksgiving...and why it isn't Christmas. I am also going to take some time to vent about the difference between Islanders (as a general stereotype) and Not-Islanders. And then we're gonna get really crazy with traditional gender roles vs gender roles in Hawaiian relationships (as I have understood them to be...I am not an expert).
You might wonder why I'm summarizing what I am going to talk about before I actually talk about it. Well...I guess it's because if you don't care, you won't have to waste your time. That might be superfluous because you are on my blog...so you obviously have some kind of interest in what I have to say. But, whatever. I do what I like! :) Also--please excuse the scattered thoughts and tangents. I have a lot to say, but I am also very easily dis (SQUIRREL) tracted. ;)
Thanksgiving vs Christmas (Karyn Style)
My earliest memories of holidays are sort of a blur. I vaguely remember the smell of roasting meats and veggies, and a candy cane. The next memories are of my parents worrying. I wasn't sure what they were worrying about at the time, but now I know that it was making Christmas special for their four kids. You see, we were poor growing up. Not really dirt poor, but poor enough to struggle when the holidays came around...and pretty much all the rest of the year. Haha. Thus the first point of my dislike of Christmas.
Christmas is the time of year when people are forced to purchase or make gifts for people even when they can't afford it, or do not like the people they are doing it for.
I am not a Grinch. I like Christmas for what it is supposed to symbolize, and for the aspect of family coming together and sharing time together. I am also an AMAZING gift giver. It makes me happy to give people gifts...and I'm great at it. However, the commercialization of the holiday is what really makes me mad. EVERYONE EXPECTS A GIFT, and honey...not everyone deserves one. You can't be a jerk to me all year, and then magically start being nice to me and expect me to do anything for you. Gifts are something I give to the people I love. I don't really like receiving them, though I try to do so graciously... oh well. Next point!
Thanksgiving has always been a time of year for my family to stop, take a breath, and actually spend some time together.
Thanksgiving was a time for cooking, football, and food comas. It was also a time of sitting down with my extended family and having great conversations; of playing with and destroying the other families at Turkey Bowls; of learning how to make the Thanksgiving meal from my Mom, Grandma and Great-Grandma; of sharing our meal with those that didn't have enough; of singing songs together and basking in the glow of our family...together. For my family, that is the essence of Thanksgiving: being together. Christmas was always a paler shade of Thanksgiving for me. Don't get me wrong--my parents made Christmas MAGICAL for us. Seriously--I believed in Santa until I was 14. They were so awesome at making Christmas a great time for us. However, Thanksgiving was when I felt that familial intimacy and closeness. We connected at Thanksgiving, and "got together" on Christmas.
Food.
I don't really know if I need to expound on this point, but I am a Hawaiian woman, and I love food. Especially pie. The PIE!
I can't really think of anything else. I got distracted by the pie. :D Holiday time is awesome for me because my family gets together and we are AMAZING when you fill that little of a space with our giant personalities. However, I don't care enough to argue with people. Like whatever holiday you want, and call me when you wake up from your food coma.
Next up:
The difference between Brown and Not-Brown
This is something that keeps coming up...like everyday for the past 3 months. I don't know if it is the Ferguson/Mike Brown happenings or what, but it seems to me like people of color are being called to arms lately. I am what is known as an "ambiguous race" person--meaning no one really knows what nationality or race I am. Well, to clear things up I am Hawaiian, Filipino, Caucasian (consisting of German, British, Irish and Scottish heritage). Or as I sometimes say: I'm mostly brown and half white. Haha! (Just for the record, I am proud to be everything I am, and love and hate on all races, colors, and creeds equally.).
I am pretty "racist" when it comes to it, but it isn't in the way that people are typically racist...where it's laced with anger, hate, and malicious thoughts. I'm racist in the way that most comedians are: in an observant and non-accusatory way. Bad driver that happens to be Asian? I will point that crap out. Hawaiian that is crying for sovereignty but aren't able to hold down a job, or even articulate why they want sovereignty (I will discuss this later...like later later)? I am going to rail you for that too. White people that are ignorant of any other culture or way of life and feel superior to everyone else??? You're gonna be called out. I feel like it's my lot in life to try to spread tolerance and love wherever I go. Why you ask?
Everyone loves Hawaii and Hawaiians (for the most part.).
My friends, and more specifically my cousin Leo, are AMAZED at what I can get away with when I call people out on their crap...which I do regularly. What is my secret? I am a sassy, large, Polynesian woman that happens to genuinely care about the people I choose to spend time with. It doesn't seem like a lot, but when people can feel the love you have for them even when what you are saying strikes them to their core...they will listen. I think that is what people mean when they say "Aloha Spirit" or "Live with Aloha". There is an undercurrent of love in everything I say and do. I don't want to hate people, and I don't want to be angry with them. (Honestly, it takes too much effort to hold a grudge or feel spite for people.) I love the people around me. I want nothing but their success and happiness in life, and I will do whatever I can to make sure they see that success and happiness while I am a part of their life.
That is one of the differences between Islanders and Not-Islanders. That undercurrent of love and genuine support for the people around them. The Aloha Spirit is what I call that part of you that strives for world peace, or helps an old lady with her groceries, or hugs your friend when they need it. Although, there are people of all races that fall into the Aloha Spirit "category." I'm not disputing that. It's just that it is stronger in Polynesian communities.
When I moved here, I felt bereft of the Aloha Spirit. I felt like there wasn't anything resembling what I had in Hawaii--which was a community that loved and cared for me. No matter what I did, or where I went in the islands, I felt the Aloha Spirit. A collective feeling of love for and from the people around me.
I eventually found out that, even in the desert, the Aloha Spirit lives. It is here. It is strong. I just had to dig a little deeper.
Which brings me to the final point...which is actually what inspired the second half of this post.
Hawaiian/Islander Gender Roles/Relationships
Watch THIS VIDEO. You know the drill. Go. Watch. I will wait.
Okay. I am assuming that you watched the video. It makes what I am going to say more profound. Seriously. I get chills watching that video man.
This is specific for Hawaiians (meaning people from Hawaii, although many of them are Hawaiian [the race]). Not Samoans, Not Tongans, Not Tahitians, Not Chomorros...and even not really for Maoris even though they are the people featured in the video I shared. This is for Hawaiians because that is where my experience lies.
In a traditional household there is the bread winner (typically the Dad) and there is the homemaker (typically the Mom). The Dad goes out and makes money, and the Mom stays at home with the kids and cleans and cooks. This is a traditional gender role household. (This is currently being redefined by society. For the sake of brevity, I won't go into all that.)
I have three brothers--all of whom are married with children (Love and marriage, love and marriage...Go together like a horse and carriage...[don't mind my metal tangents...]). Two of them are pretty traditional in their gender roles/home life. The other one is a stay-at-home Dad, and LOVES it. I don't really care either way, because as long as they love their respective wives and their kids, I'm good. Anyway... I don't love or hate traditional gender roles, but I also know I would never fit them exactly.
You see, I am a VERY strong willed and independent person. I am not someone who likes to be the "dominant" one in a relationship, but I abhor the "submissive" qualities that plays into my traditional gender role as a woman. In my opinion, marriage and committed relationships should be equal. Like really equal. I have traditional and religious things that I refer to (I like a man that is chivalrous and will be the patriarch of my home), but overall I want a man that LIKES that I am independent and opinionated and funny and sometimes challenging to deal with. That is who I am. I am not demure or timid or meek, and I don't find those qualities (in a man) attractive in any way.
Which sort of brings me to my point. It seems to me that non-local boys (or guys who are not from Hawaii) want a girl that is like that--shy and mild mannered. I never really had issues finding guys that were interested in me in the Islands, because the guys there aren't scared away or intimidated by me. They like that I have my own mind and that I can challenge them if need be.
I'm not saying that I want to fight with my future husband every night. If you know me really well--I have been know to be called a teddy bear or a marshmallow. And I am that person most of the time, but in a relationship, I want to feel...challenged. I want my man to want me to be better than I am. I want him to know he can depend on me to try to motivate him to achieve his potential and be the best person he can be. I want him to encourage me to pursue my talents and I want him to feel free to be who he is and go after his dreams. To fail without feeling like I will judge him. To make mistakes and know that, not only am I imperfect too, but that we are working together to be our best selves.
There are a lot of things that I miss about the islands...but I think I miss that the most. Being myself and knowing someone won't be scared away by it, but love me for it. Hawaiian women are STRONG and LOUD and BEAUTIFUL and LOYAL. We are leaders. We come from warriors. We flourish when we are loved and challenged.
I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if I will get married or have kids. I don't know where I will be in my career goals, or where I will be spiritually. I don't know if I will be living in St. George or in London. What I do know is that I will keep "doin' me" and keep looking for a guy that digs it.
One of my favorite movie quotes is from Sleepless in Seattle. "Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn't it?" I don't want to settle for less, and you shouldn't either. Whatever your hang-up is...whether it's what you look like, personal issues...whatever. You deserve and will find love one day.
Well, that's all I can dedicate to this blog post for today. Sort of long, but if you're still with me, thanks for reading and let me know what you think. :) I leave you with one of my favorite DJs and his 2014-in-song mix. :)
If you know me really well (or apparently read this blog post), you know that I love Thanksgiving with all my heart and sort of don't like Christmas. I know, I know. It's almost blasphemous to even think that Christmas is anything but my favorite holiday in certain circles. People have actually started yelling in my face when I have stated that Thanksgiving is clearly the better holiday, but I digress.
I have my opinions and you have yours. Luckily we're on my blog, so you don't really have a say in the disagreement--whatever your favorite holiday may be. I will tell you why mine is Thanksgiving...and why it isn't Christmas. I am also going to take some time to vent about the difference between Islanders (as a general stereotype) and Not-Islanders. And then we're gonna get really crazy with traditional gender roles vs gender roles in Hawaiian relationships (as I have understood them to be...I am not an expert).
You might wonder why I'm summarizing what I am going to talk about before I actually talk about it. Well...I guess it's because if you don't care, you won't have to waste your time. That might be superfluous because you are on my blog...so you obviously have some kind of interest in what I have to say. But, whatever. I do what I like! :) Also--please excuse the scattered thoughts and tangents. I have a lot to say, but I am also very easily dis (SQUIRREL) tracted. ;)
Thanksgiving vs Christmas (Karyn Style)
My earliest memories of holidays are sort of a blur. I vaguely remember the smell of roasting meats and veggies, and a candy cane. The next memories are of my parents worrying. I wasn't sure what they were worrying about at the time, but now I know that it was making Christmas special for their four kids. You see, we were poor growing up. Not really dirt poor, but poor enough to struggle when the holidays came around...and pretty much all the rest of the year. Haha. Thus the first point of my dislike of Christmas.
Christmas is the time of year when people are forced to purchase or make gifts for people even when they can't afford it, or do not like the people they are doing it for.
 |
| See? Not me! |
Thanksgiving has always been a time of year for my family to stop, take a breath, and actually spend some time together.
Food.
I don't really know if I need to expound on this point, but I am a Hawaiian woman, and I love food. Especially pie. The PIE!
I can't really think of anything else. I got distracted by the pie. :D Holiday time is awesome for me because my family gets together and we are AMAZING when you fill that little of a space with our giant personalities. However, I don't care enough to argue with people. Like whatever holiday you want, and call me when you wake up from your food coma.
Next up:
The difference between Brown and Not-Brown
This is something that keeps coming up...like everyday for the past 3 months. I don't know if it is the Ferguson/Mike Brown happenings or what, but it seems to me like people of color are being called to arms lately. I am what is known as an "ambiguous race" person--meaning no one really knows what nationality or race I am. Well, to clear things up I am Hawaiian, Filipino, Caucasian (consisting of German, British, Irish and Scottish heritage). Or as I sometimes say: I'm mostly brown and half white. Haha! (Just for the record, I am proud to be everything I am, and love and hate on all races, colors, and creeds equally.).
I am pretty "racist" when it comes to it, but it isn't in the way that people are typically racist...where it's laced with anger, hate, and malicious thoughts. I'm racist in the way that most comedians are: in an observant and non-accusatory way. Bad driver that happens to be Asian? I will point that crap out. Hawaiian that is crying for sovereignty but aren't able to hold down a job, or even articulate why they want sovereignty (I will discuss this later...like later later)? I am going to rail you for that too. White people that are ignorant of any other culture or way of life and feel superior to everyone else??? You're gonna be called out. I feel like it's my lot in life to try to spread tolerance and love wherever I go. Why you ask?
Everyone loves Hawaii and Hawaiians (for the most part.).
 |
| We'll go over the meaning of "pono" later. (pron. poh-no) |
That is one of the differences between Islanders and Not-Islanders. That undercurrent of love and genuine support for the people around them. The Aloha Spirit is what I call that part of you that strives for world peace, or helps an old lady with her groceries, or hugs your friend when they need it. Although, there are people of all races that fall into the Aloha Spirit "category." I'm not disputing that. It's just that it is stronger in Polynesian communities.
When I moved here, I felt bereft of the Aloha Spirit. I felt like there wasn't anything resembling what I had in Hawaii--which was a community that loved and cared for me. No matter what I did, or where I went in the islands, I felt the Aloha Spirit. A collective feeling of love for and from the people around me.
I eventually found out that, even in the desert, the Aloha Spirit lives. It is here. It is strong. I just had to dig a little deeper.
Which brings me to the final point...which is actually what inspired the second half of this post.
Hawaiian/Islander Gender Roles/Relationships
Watch THIS VIDEO. You know the drill. Go. Watch. I will wait.
Okay. I am assuming that you watched the video. It makes what I am going to say more profound. Seriously. I get chills watching that video man.
This is specific for Hawaiians (meaning people from Hawaii, although many of them are Hawaiian [the race]). Not Samoans, Not Tongans, Not Tahitians, Not Chomorros...and even not really for Maoris even though they are the people featured in the video I shared. This is for Hawaiians because that is where my experience lies.
In a traditional household there is the bread winner (typically the Dad) and there is the homemaker (typically the Mom). The Dad goes out and makes money, and the Mom stays at home with the kids and cleans and cooks. This is a traditional gender role household. (This is currently being redefined by society. For the sake of brevity, I won't go into all that.)
I have three brothers--all of whom are married with children (Love and marriage, love and marriage...Go together like a horse and carriage...[don't mind my metal tangents...]). Two of them are pretty traditional in their gender roles/home life. The other one is a stay-at-home Dad, and LOVES it. I don't really care either way, because as long as they love their respective wives and their kids, I'm good. Anyway... I don't love or hate traditional gender roles, but I also know I would never fit them exactly.
You see, I am a VERY strong willed and independent person. I am not someone who likes to be the "dominant" one in a relationship, but I abhor the "submissive" qualities that plays into my traditional gender role as a woman. In my opinion, marriage and committed relationships should be equal. Like really equal. I have traditional and religious things that I refer to (I like a man that is chivalrous and will be the patriarch of my home), but overall I want a man that LIKES that I am independent and opinionated and funny and sometimes challenging to deal with. That is who I am. I am not demure or timid or meek, and I don't find those qualities (in a man) attractive in any way.
Which sort of brings me to my point. It seems to me that non-local boys (or guys who are not from Hawaii) want a girl that is like that--shy and mild mannered. I never really had issues finding guys that were interested in me in the Islands, because the guys there aren't scared away or intimidated by me. They like that I have my own mind and that I can challenge them if need be.
I'm not saying that I want to fight with my future husband every night. If you know me really well--I have been know to be called a teddy bear or a marshmallow. And I am that person most of the time, but in a relationship, I want to feel...challenged. I want my man to want me to be better than I am. I want him to know he can depend on me to try to motivate him to achieve his potential and be the best person he can be. I want him to encourage me to pursue my talents and I want him to feel free to be who he is and go after his dreams. To fail without feeling like I will judge him. To make mistakes and know that, not only am I imperfect too, but that we are working together to be our best selves.
There are a lot of things that I miss about the islands...but I think I miss that the most. Being myself and knowing someone won't be scared away by it, but love me for it. Hawaiian women are STRONG and LOUD and BEAUTIFUL and LOYAL. We are leaders. We come from warriors. We flourish when we are loved and challenged.
I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if I will get married or have kids. I don't know where I will be in my career goals, or where I will be spiritually. I don't know if I will be living in St. George or in London. What I do know is that I will keep "doin' me" and keep looking for a guy that digs it.
One of my favorite movie quotes is from Sleepless in Seattle. "Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn't it?" I don't want to settle for less, and you shouldn't either. Whatever your hang-up is...whether it's what you look like, personal issues...whatever. You deserve and will find love one day.
Well, that's all I can dedicate to this blog post for today. Sort of long, but if you're still with me, thanks for reading and let me know what you think. :) I leave you with one of my favorite DJs and his 2014-in-song mix. :)
2 comments:
Hey, I Love You Karyn, You just keep doin you, and remember I always have your back. -Adam
Love you too Adam! :)
Post a Comment