Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Why brothers are the s***

Just a little forewarning. There will be swearing in this post. Also--my grammar filter is basically off right now, so deal. :)

My brothers are the best ever.

Seriously. When I tally up all the crap that has happened to me....betrayal, heart break, and basically the emotional battering ram that is taken to my emotions on the reg...there are only three people that have stuck through thick and thin. They have always been there for me. I know that I can count on them to tell me the truth...or to tell me a lie when I need to hear it. They are my brothers.

My brothers are amazing. Seriously. They are the s***, and no one really knows because they are all kicking butt and taking names.

I know it isn't a cakewalk to be my brothers. I am pretty much one of the hugest jerks ever. As Louis C.K. says,

"Here's the difference, to me, between boys and girls: Boys fuck things up; Girls are fucked up. That’s the difference. Boys just do damage to your house that you can measure in dollars, like a hurricane. Girls, like, leave scars in your psyche that you find later, like a genocide or an atrocity. […] That’s the difference between boys and girls. And it becomes the difference between men and women, really. A man will, like, steal your car or burn your house down or beat the shit out of you, but a woman will ruin your fuckin' life. Do you see the difference? Like, a man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you as a human being intact. He won't fuck with who you are. Women are nonviolent, but they will shit inside of your heart."
I freely admit that I am a huge jerk. I am trying to change that now, but unfortunately my family are the ones who have seen me at my worst. Yep--all that glory of "crazy Karyn" was theirs to behold. They've seen me in tremendous pain, anger, embarrassment, happiness, excitement...the whole range of Karyn emotions (even the ones I hide). They've seen it all.

And guess what? They still love me. They still care. It's sort of a miracle. With all my mistakes, all of the times I tried to ruin them...they still are there for me. In my entire life, the three people that have always been there for me are my brothers. Occasionally we have differences of opinion, but overall we love each other and have stuck together through it all. They are so awesome. If you haven't read this blog before, or if you are semi-new, I have three brothers: Adam, Josh, and Sean. Adam and Josh are older than I am and Sean is the baby. My brothers are all freaking geniuses.

Adam is a genius when it comes to people and anything mechanical. He has taken a while to figure it out, but Adam has so much potential for success. He has a burning passion for life and I think that's why he sometimes gets so emotional about things. He is so passionate about the things he cares about. He has had to be. He needs to just let go of what everyone tells him he "should" do and go after what he wants. He has the mind and the talent to be successful at whatever he wants to do because he understands how people think. I often tell him that he needs to temper his emotions and chill out. He does...but it would be a waste to quiet that passion for life. I think if he redirects it into the projects he gets into and his family, that he will be set...forever.

Josh is a genius at music (for real...like savant-style). He got beat with the family talent stick. He has more talent and ability than I could ever hope for. He's a triple threat. He can sing. play, and write his own stuff. I think Josh's great talent is that he immerses himself in a moment and takes everything he can away from it. He has a hard time relating to people because (other than the fact that people in general are basically the worst) he sees the world in his own unique way. He and I are a lot alike because we keep our feeling pretty deep down, but people often mistake that for not having any. However, I think another part of that is that he (as a typical middle child) feels like he needs to scream to be heard. Life happens to us in the quiet moments. Josh's talent is undeniable. I think his biggest challenge is learning to tone things down and releasing the same amount of emotion with a quieter voice.

Sean is a genius when it comes to breaking things down and solving them. I think that is why he likes video games so much. No matter how many layers they have, he has a knack for seeing the goal and following through. That is his true talent. No matter what issue he faces--he can see into the heart of the issue and see a solution for it. I think his biggest challenge is trying to figure out how to balance his dreams with the time it takes to achieve them. He is a rising star, and I know if he can figure out how to balance everything in his life that he will achieve everything he wants to in his life.

All my brothers are married and have children. It's weird to think about for me because even though they all changed when they got married and then again when they had kids...it's still so cool to see how great they are at being Dads and Husbands. It's also really cool to see the effort they make to stay in touch with me and show me how much they care about me. Family means pretty much everything to us...and I feel it every time they call or email or facebook or whatever.

They have always stuck up for me, beat people up for me, counseled me, and just listened to me when I needed them to. They have stood and weathered the storm with me...and still do no matter how busy things get for them.

Since they are all so far away, I have adopted brothers too. My adopted brothers are so awesome, and I love them as much as my real brothers. I won't call them out in this post like I did to my real brothers. I don't have the luxury of blood protecting me from embarrassing them publicly. Haha. I will say though that it isn't worth it to hold yourself back because of something someone said or did to you. You have so much potential. Start today to go after your dreams. Life is there for you to take and run with...you just have to choose to do it.

My brothers are the fucking best, and I'm one lucky girl to have them in my life. Thanks guys. I love you.

Something for the road.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Karyn, ok so you know i got your back but it would be a shame if I didn't let the people know about you. Karyn as messed up as she thinks she is. Well let's just say she believes it because she processes whats going on and determines the work load well before she commits to anything. Thats why she falls in love with the idea of life love long before she tells the person and why she then totally freezes up. Because the intangible the unknown and the fear of failure are in her mind the risk that may be to much. She is the kindest most loving and quietly compassionate of the siblings. She keeps us level and even. Head strong and successful and a iron exterior are her shield, she needed it as she had three brothers and all Type A personalities. But once you can drill, smash, and penetrate, that exterior you find a beautiful person. (Thats why the swearing she is trying to appear tough) She needs to find the courage to accept that there will be failures in life and sometimes a failure is a success. No one can be right all the time its not possible.To Face yourself is to face your fears. Overcome those fears accept the failures and the success and find what's important you will then find what are looking for. I love you Karyn keep fighting the good fight. -Adam

Josh Keanaaina said...

Thanks, Karyn for those words. I think it's hard to see ourselves as we really are. And it's not until we see how we are reflected in those who we love, that we get a measure of our consistent self towards others. I think if my kids could articulate who I am (in words other than "I hate you, daddy") I'd learn a fair amount about my weaknesses. And I know my oldest probably sees more than Julie as far as the characteristics that make me who I am...

Your assessment of me is generous :). To speak to your Louis C.K. quote, I think the reason why boys only do surface damage is because they know how crappy they are as people and don't know if they have the guts to push lasting damage onto another person who is equally messed up. From my observations of Karyn's childhood friends I've come to the conclusion that girls are less aware of their deficiencies or the girls around them, and must try to disable their competition before they feel like they have a chance to conquer.

Anyway, I agree with some of Adam's points. I think one big thing that makes Karyn a great person is that she is an emotional/social genius. She sees the value in developing relationships despite her personal feelings. She'll try to keep the peace until the straw breaks the camel's back. I think that her previous inability to assess her own strengths or to plan actions that will help her overcome any deficiencies she might have has held her back in the past, but she's actually working through that and so the tendency remains, but she's amidst the winds of change.

Ames said...

For as little as I know about your brothers, they are AWESOME! This was fun to read about each of them.

leinani45 said...

Amy--they really are! :) adam and josh--love you guys! Thanks for reading and responding. You guys are the best!

Unknown said...

I love this post and you're amazing! I wish we had more time together!! By the way, LOVE this song!

leinani45 said...

CAROL! :D Thanks!!! We need to see each other sometime. Let's make this happen!