I find myself at a crossroads of sorts. I feel like I am presented with two options, and I don't know which to choose.
One path leads to possible happiness and less drama. One of my resolutions this year has been to avoid drama, and while I have tried to, I find it tends to follow me. The first path has been there for a long time, but I've eluded the choice by pretending it wasn't there. Now, I am forced to recognize it is there and make a choice. Which explains the post... even if no one reads it. ;)
The second path is full of drama and possible happiness. (you notice the "possible"... that because happiness is uncertain) There are also other things on the second path that can be either positive or negative depending on how they occur. I can see further down this path, but I'm unsure if I want to deal with the ramifications and hardships down this path.
I am extremely tempted to take the first path, but then I wonder, "What if the second path (while harder and more 'rocky') is the right path to take?" How do I instinctively know that the second path will be harder? Why do I think that the harder the journey the bigger reward? What if the easier path is just that? Easier? What if the rewards are the same, but I'm just torturing myself because I'm deluded? All these questions and no answers.
huh... moving on.
I was reading my friend's blog, and I have to say that I feel a lot like she has recently: depressed and confused. I feel like everything I try to say or do blows up in my face. I am a blunt and at times apathetic person. I care a lot about my family and friends, but sometimes it's just too much to have to worry about EVERYONE all the time. I know that I offend a lot of people, but I really can't be bothered about it. Mostly because I can't control how people interpret what I say and what I do. However, it also has a lot to do with my friend Carol's favorite quote by Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
So will the people that 'matter' care that I am thoughtless and blunt? Obviously my family and friends (for the most part) don't because they are still around.
But...
I still get that nagging sensation that I need to make some adjustments. But why?
Life is so unexpected some times.
One path leads to possible happiness and less drama. One of my resolutions this year has been to avoid drama, and while I have tried to, I find it tends to follow me. The first path has been there for a long time, but I've eluded the choice by pretending it wasn't there. Now, I am forced to recognize it is there and make a choice. Which explains the post... even if no one reads it. ;)
The second path is full of drama and possible happiness. (you notice the "possible"... that because happiness is uncertain) There are also other things on the second path that can be either positive or negative depending on how they occur. I can see further down this path, but I'm unsure if I want to deal with the ramifications and hardships down this path.
I am extremely tempted to take the first path, but then I wonder, "What if the second path (while harder and more 'rocky') is the right path to take?" How do I instinctively know that the second path will be harder? Why do I think that the harder the journey the bigger reward? What if the easier path is just that? Easier? What if the rewards are the same, but I'm just torturing myself because I'm deluded? All these questions and no answers.
huh... moving on.
I was reading my friend's blog, and I have to say that I feel a lot like she has recently: depressed and confused. I feel like everything I try to say or do blows up in my face. I am a blunt and at times apathetic person. I care a lot about my family and friends, but sometimes it's just too much to have to worry about EVERYONE all the time. I know that I offend a lot of people, but I really can't be bothered about it. Mostly because I can't control how people interpret what I say and what I do. However, it also has a lot to do with my friend Carol's favorite quote by Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
So will the people that 'matter' care that I am thoughtless and blunt? Obviously my family and friends (for the most part) don't because they are still around.
But...
I still get that nagging sensation that I need to make some adjustments. But why?
Life is so unexpected some times.
6 comments:
Life IS so unexpected. Thanks for your comment; I really like this post. I love that it's so real. I just want you to know that I'm here if you ever need to talk, or a sounding board, or just a friendly voice. Take care of yourself!
Thanks Latu!!! :)
I am sorry things are tough, remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for you, you are an amazing person! I love that quote by the way, so so true!
Thanks Sara! That quote really is AMAZING! :)
Hey, that's me!! I LOVE that quote! and you know what, shame on those people to tell you to lose weight to get a boyfriend. You should lose weight to take better care of yourself because frankly, I want you around for a LONG, LONG time! Even though we don't talk all that often, I'm still here for you a phone call or a text away!
I wish I could help you out with what road to take but I don't know but I do know that life is full of risks and you just have to take whatever path Heavenly Father wants you to make. So GOOD LUCK! :P
Thanks Carol!!! I know we don't talk as often as we used to, but I'm here for you too!!! :)
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