Do you ever just feel under appreciated? or I guess the word I'm looking for is USED.
Holy crap! It has been happening to me for the past two years. I thought that I could put up with it, but when I look at people smiling at me lately, all I see is a baring of teeth.
I hate feeling like...well, like I'm being used. It feels almost like people only keep me around because no one else is willing to do anything, or that people are telling me (especially lately)... "We keep you around because you fill up space."
This is why I want to move away from St. George. I feel like everyone is so phony all the time. All I'm asking for is a little genuine emotion. ANYTHING genuine will do... anger, spite, happiness, friendliness... I don't care what it is. I'm just tired of feeling like I live in a town of mannequins. No one is real. It's so irritating.
I have NEVER felt so...ARGH! I don't even know the word. Insulted? IDK. (which is making me more irritated.) I'm tired of people 'tolerating' me. STOP PATRONIZING ME. I don't need your pity or your "good will."
If you hate me, tell me. If you want me to leave, tell me. I'm so tired of pretending to care.
4 comments:
aww! im sorry! i love you though! if that counts or helps... i do need to update you about this past weekend though. :)
I would like to hear about your weekend. I have my cell today, so call me! :)
i can honestly say that i know how you feel. two words: my job! i LOVE MY job, but my co-workers....fake, fake, fake. and they're all christians too(not of our faith). but i keep telling myself, i need to set the example. and if and when i quit this job, they will know that they knew at least one member of the church who lived the standards. hope i'm making sense. but know that i love you and you have tons of other people who do too.
Thanks Kaili!!! :) I know.. I hate it when people are FAKE... but what can you do??? lol. Love you too girl!
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