Funk

So, I've been in a funk. I don't know why or how to snap out of it... but, there you go.

Writing this blog today, I find myself thinking about Hawaii and feeling homesick. I MISS HAWAII... so much. I miss the ocean, the mountains, the beach, the plants, a cool ocean breeze... and the people. I miss fresh fish and rice at every meal. I miss taking walks along the ocean front and being able to go to the beach whenever i want to. i miss feeling a connection with the land around me, and feeling the aloha that seeps out of the people. i miss the music... and the feeling of belonging. I'm going home in 6 days and I can't wait. I want to see my mom and dad. I want to see my brothers and their families. I want to see my little bro Sean, who gets home from his mission in Japan tomorrow. I CANT WAIT TO GO HOME!!!

Some people may see this and wonder: Why dont you just move back to Hawaii? (Then you wouldn't miss it! DUH!)

A simple question with a complicated answer. St. George is a protection for me... a way to not only keep out of trouble, but to stay away from the people who I allow to continually hurt me and be-little me. Hawaii is beautiful, but rest assured that there are bad people there. Just because its paradise doesn't mean that there isnt DRAMA... boy is there drama. I know there is drama... if i moved back today it would be counter productive to me 'getting over' a lot of the crap that happened before i left. so, a visit is good enough.

My dad (who is AMAZING) keeps pressuring me to move home, but i don't think he KNOWS how bad things were for me before we moved. I just handle going back for good right now. Eventually i WOULD like to go back and live there, but until i feel ready, i'll be in the mainland. (aka the continental united states...)

Anyways. can't wait to go home. :)