I'm SICK!!! :(

So, I'm sick. It's funny how I can go YEARS without getting sick, and then BLAMO! I get hit twice in the past 3 months. :( I hate being sick.

Lately I've been trying to save money by cooking more often at home. Something I've come to LOVE is my brother Josh's recipe for Mabo Tofu. :) It's a Japanese dish with beef, miso, onions and tofu that is TO DIE for!!! I've included a picture of my version, which I have made 2 times already! Delicious!


I'm glad for this time to just kick back and explore the things I've always wanted to do, like cooking, camping, graphic art, budgeting, going house shopping (not that I'm in the market...), and traveling. I'm grateful for the time to get to learn about all these things (and more) and just figure them out. Especially traveling. I'm planning to do a lot more traveling this year. I think it's all due to not only my 'single status' but also just breaking free from my debts. Thanks budgeting!!! You're the best!!!

So, I'm afraid of the dark. Not many people know that about me, but I go out of my way to NOT be alone when the lights go out. I just found out that one of my cousins is also TERRIFIED of the dark. I'm not that bad... I think for me it's the unknown that scares me. Just a note of other things I'm afraid of: clowns, spiders, being alone, heights, commitment, failure... i think that's it. It's a life goal of mine to confront my fears, and overcome them. Or at least try to. I think the hardest one for me will be spiders. I literally FREAK OUT when I see one. Childhood trauma. lol

So, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! lol. Sorry, I forgot to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year. It's the year of the bull, and supposedly its supposed to be a good year for those born under the Rat sign (like me). I don't usually go for any of that kind of stuff, but it's fun to read. :)

I think I'll start posting recipes that go well on this page. Oh, and if you ever want to know more about the eating situation here in St. George, check out my food critic blog I've made with my trusty side-kick, Susi: www.eatinginstgeorge.blogspot.com. :)

Tired? What?!

Hello all.

Another year has arrived and I find myself wandering aimlessly in the morass that is my life. Some of you may say, what? Why? I thought you had everything worked out... Well, I did. (at one point) However, things have not gone the way that I tried to plan it to. I'm not upset about it, but I get 'cabin fever' easily. I have a hard time committing to... anything, and I get really antsy if I'm in a situation for longer than 2 years. I can hear the puzzled reponse of why formulating in your mind. The simple answer is: I don't know.

I have always been afraid to commit to things. Anything. A lease, a boyfriend, a roommate, school, jobs, marriage, you name it, I can't commit to it. I even make it a point to not commit to things that I'm involved with unless its COMPLETELY planned out to the minute, and I know exactly what my part is, and when I have to play it. Don't believe me? Ask Susi. She can tell you. I probably drive her up the wall with all the planning I make her do. However, my obsessive compulsive behaviors literally guide me to NOT commit to something unless I can gain control over it with order. Everything needs order. I know I sound crazy right now, but I solidly believe that unless order is achieved, the product of whatever you are organizing will not be successfully received. Confused yet??? Let me try to clear it up for you. I got roped into doing a lu'au/ho'olaule'a here in St. George. (a ho'olaule'a is a block party type event). It's organized under the name, Makahiki in St. George. Check it out. Anyway, so we were having to do this, right? However, because I work at the St. George Chamber, getting sponsors, or basically selling anything through the makahiki would be a conflict of interest. So, I have basically done nothing with it. There is so much to plan, and I feel like nothing has been organized at all. Because I can't see past the unorganized parts of the event, I won't go forward with planning until they get worked out. That is the CRAZY way my brain works.

I think that's the up and down with this job right now. I have a structured regimented schedule, and I try to keep to it as much as possible. However, I am also an artist at heart, so I like to have my freedom to do what I will with my designing and everything else I do. So, whenever I get tired of my regime, I can go to the artisic stuff, and when I hit a mental block with the artistic stuff, I can go to the scheduled parts until something hits me. The only thing that sucks is when I feel totally drained but I HAVE to make something up. eh. I'm done with this.

I've been really irrate lately. I think its because I'm stressed out about this event coming up. I feel like everyone expects me to bend my publication deadlines because they can't stay on top of things, but I've decided that I don't care whether or not things are accurate anymore because I can't wait any longer. WHICH stresses me out because it wont be PERFECT. ugh.

I'm tired. Oh. which reminds me. Susi and I are starting a hula class. We'll see how it goes.

North Shore

I just watched the movie North Shore. Not society's best piece of film, but surprisingly accurate in social interaction between 'haole's' or white folk and locals. Also really good example that ignorance is the thing that locals 'hold against' the visitors that go to Hawaii. My personal opinion is that you should either have someone to escort you around, or pay attention. You can really get hurt if you live in ignorance your whole life. Learn to respect others and their culture, and you'll be able to gain acceptance in that type of situation.

Watching this movie, and reading my friend Latu's blog really set me off to write this blog. Even though I talk about stupid haole's or whatever... Most of my irritation comes from the fact that people now days don't respect each other. They don't want to respect each other either. It's really sad to witness crimes of hate and just plain old ignorance. I'm a firm believer in RESPECT. If you don't have respect, you don't have anything.

Wow

So, the Christmas Season is in full swing, and I'm singing along with every Christmas song I hear.


Luckily I like Christmas. Otherwise I may be annoyed with the perpetual cheeriness and goodwill that people develop and lose within the 5 week period known to most as the 'Holiday Season.' I stumbled upon this video. Check it out. I feel this way sometimes... but only when forced to join the throngs of panicked shoppers, fighting over tickle me elmo and fairy princess barbie.


I've been really sick for the past week. And, I've decided that I hate being sick more than I hate stupid drivers. Sure, you get days off of work and you get to eat soup and toast whenever you want to, but is it really worth the sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head, and fever? I say no to this. NO! lol... sorry. I really am tired of being sick. I get sick only once or twice a year, though, so I should be grateful. I'll just will myself to get better.




I'm pretty excited for next. week. At work we do a Wassail day. Where we invite our members to come and drink wassail and eat gingerbread cookies. :) I'm super excited because gingerbread cookies are ny number 4 favorite cookie... Esp if they are soft and DELICIOUS! Oh, My number 1-3 cookies are: #1. Karyn's Amazing Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Chip Peanut Butter Cookies, #2. My mom's coconut oatmeal rasin cookies, and #3. Aunty Sandy's molasses cookies. Good times. :)

This holiday season is looking like it will be a lot of driving and a lot of money. :S Oh well. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your family. :) lol. Even if it is a $25 tank of gas and a couple of presents. ;) Happy Holidays!

Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Wow. I find myself today in especially good spirits. :) So, Merry Christmas!!! :D

I have good news and bad news. Let's start with the bad news. I got home from Hawai'i AAAANNNNNDDD... my cell phone broke. :( I was like... what the CRAP?! I was worried that I would have to pay for whatever repairs that had to be done. I would usually NOT worry about that, but I just got back from vacation, and well... you know how that goes. lol... anyways, so I FINALLY went to the cell phone store, and it was diagnosed... intermittent charge deficiency which is caused by a faulty charging port. It would have been alright, but they don't sell mymodel of phone at the Verizon store here in St. George... SOOOO, they couldn't save any of my information or videos or pictures, etc. This is particularly sad for me because I just got back from Hawaii, where my family is. I took a lot of pictures, videos, etc. ANYWAYS... this brings us to the good news:

I got a new phone!!! Hazahhh!

I need to get numbers for everyone... so If you want to email it to me, go for it! :)

This is the season... beloved of the year. Sing a rhyme, Christmas time soon will be here! lol. I really like Christmas a lot. Not as much as Thanksgiving, but it's only by a fraction. Christmas is the time that I get to show people that I was not only paying attention to them, BUT that I care enough to get them something. WHICH is why I hardly ever get people things or send them stuff if I'm not in close proximity. It's not that I don't love the people far away from me emotionally or physically, it's just that I can't think of what I could send you that would make sense without going back to times that aren't relevant for your life today. lol. is that enough of a 'cop out' or what? lol

anyways, i'm excited for christmas. its always a good time to be around family and friends.

Utah

So, I've decided that Utah isn't too bad. I actually like cold weather a lot, so it works out. :) The thing I DON'T like is the 100+ degree weather during the summer.

I've been trying to decide on what I want to give people for Christmas. I usually like to do little sentimentally funny things that people can look at and smile about. However, this year my SUPER AWESOME friend Susi is giving me an awesome gift that I'll be able to share with everyone. So looks like it'll be that... well, at least for family and a select few friends. Everyone else will have to be content with the AMAZING Christmas cards I got in Hawaii. :)

Overall, I feel like it's still too early for Christmas. This year has gone by so quickly. It seems like summer was just yesterday! :S Where has all the time gone? Did you know next year I'll be 25?! That's a quarter of a century people! Isn't that weird to think about? I don't feel like I'm almost 25... I sort of feel like I'm 20-ish.

So, for Christmas this year I want to just chill out and relax. Even though this year has gone by SUPER fast, it was really busy. I'm glad it's coming to an end. I feel bad for Susi because she'll be working through the break. That's what you get for being an over achiever (that's right Sus! I said it!) lol... oh... just fyi, I am NOT getting married, but I found the most AMAZING wedding dress. I totally LOVE the style...

I also found this dress... doesn't the model look like Tia or Tamera Mowry?



Lol... anyways, hope all is well with all of you!

In Hawaii

So, I am currently in Hawai'i Nei... It is SUPER nice to be able to be near family... and to see my brothers and parents again. :) I guess you don't really know how much you miss home until you've been away, and get to see it again! :)

Even though my whole family is now majorly located on O'ahu... (I am originally from Big Island) I think it's mostly just the general 'feel' of the Islands that makes me feel at home. If I went back to Big Island, I think it would have been a more emotional homecoming for me, but being here is surreal. I never feel fully 'in reality' when I'm on any of the other islands. Is that weird?

So, my friend Susi FINALLY has begun a blog. She really is a great writer, so go read it! :) (susibell.blogspot.com) 

Tonight we're going to Twilight. I hope it's good. I REALLY disliked the 4th book. Which made me never want to read them again. SOOOO, we'll see how I like it. I have no preconcieved notions, so it won't be a disappointment like Eragon. Seriously, Chris... you should have been more aware of the movie and it's progression. :S

Okay, I have to go make dinner... I'll blog more later! ALOHAS!

could i POST more tags???

Wow!!! Lol... I noticed that the last 3 posts I've done have been tags. ;) Lol. I guess I should give you a little more than that. So, life lately. It’s been... like ketchup in a bottle... coming in dollops. At first it seems slow, but then a whole bunch of time passes in what seems like the blink of an eye. I've recently tried to be more social... stepping outside the realm of my one 'best' friend Susi (with whom I spend most of my time...) and testing the friendship waters around me. I’ve found something strange about the people here in St. George... even though I am Karyn... I’m seen here as Susi's friend. I’m not upset or surprised by this... Susi is a very popular person here for good reason, but I feel like the friendships I have tried to formulate here are basically built upon the fact that they know Susi and are therefore humoring me with friendship. Maybe that’s just the paranoid, untrusting, skeptical side of me coming out, but a lot of the time it DOES feel like that.

I have, however, found a little pod of friends with whom I’ve attached myself to. The only problem is that they are all leaving in 4 days to go on missions. BTW, if any of you read this, I’m going to miss you like crazy!!!

So now the question: what will I decide to do with my life? Friendwise, I know that spending all my time with Susi and her family is a no. Not only do they need their privacy, Susi and I are are COMPLETELY opposite in basically everything.

I guess I’m just tired of being an afterthought for people. I want to be like the Karyn most of you know and love. :)

ps- I had the funnest time last night at a spooky movie marathon I went to last night. We watched Poltergeist, I Am Legend, and 1408... I’ve decided that scary movies, while disturbing, are overrated... we also got to have a jam session. It was rad, and my friend Wyatt graced me with his impressive musical 'skillz'. His music is awesome. I told him he needs to get a cd out. I could totally be his pr manager. ;)

Hmm... maybe that’s what I should be shooting for... pr or something similar. I think I could be good in a job like that. Hmm... maybe life will steer me in that direction.

Politics & more...

Hey everyone!!!

How have you all been???

Well... let me start with the fact that I'm a little disappointed in women in general. Why can't we see what we're WORTH??? Life is too short to second guess yourself. YOU are a SPECIAL, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL person and YOU DESERVE THE BEST in life. I don't care who you are... you do. NEVER let anyone tell you differently.

This world seems to be here to tell us we aren't good enough. You're not pretty enough. You aren't rich enough. It IS NOT true! You are unique. You have a purpose! You are beautiful!

Whatever you do, DON'T LISTEN TO THE WORLD. It will never be enough if you give in to the media and social pressures. It will never stop unless you CHOOSE to make it stop. You can be your OWN person. Take back your life and LIVE it for yourself! Live it for your family! Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Live it the best way you can. Don't listen to people or the judgments they have for you. It doesn't matter what they think. Just do your best. That’s all anyone can ask of you or that you can ask of yourself.

Why can't women get along??? Why do we constantly have to backstab each other and be conniving? Why can’t we lift each other up and come together with mutual respect for each other? Aren’t you tired of constantly trying to ‘one up’ the other? Isn’t it time to just LOVE one another??? You don’t have to bring the people around you down. LIFT THEM UP!!! Have respect for who they are and what they’ve achieved!

Everyone in the world is dealt a different hand. We all have different trials to go through… different circumstances. We should be able to go to each other for help and support without the worry that it will be rubbed in our face.

I’m so tired of fighting against the current. If I want to date a guy, don’t try to steal him away. If I try to become successful, don’t sabotage me.

Okay… vent over.

I work at the Chamber of Commerce here, and we have a luncheon each Wednesday. Today, we had a political forum for candidates running for office this year. I was amazed at the ‘mudslinging’ that occurred. That’s something I truly detest about politics. If you want my vote, don’t tell me how bad the other guy is. Tell me how awesome you are and why I should vote for you.

Eh… I’m so done with all the politics in the air. I feel like it’s suffocating me.

I’m outtie…

TAG!

I am: ready to go to Hawai'i!!!
I think: life is too short to have to worry about health
I know: i need to take better care of myself
I am: working... as usual.
I want: to become the person i should...
I have: enough for now.
I dislike: stupidity.
I miss: my real friends
I fear: spiders, the dark, and losing my family
I feel: relaxed
I hear: the usual goings on in the office...
I smell: delicious
I crave: lobster and/or sushi
I cry: when i miss my fam-bam.
I search: for peace and forgiveness
I wonder: whats in store for the future
I regret: being too timid
I wish: i had an awesome car
I love: HAWAII! :)
I care: about what matters
I always: am down for a party!
I worry: that i'll never find out what i want in life
I am not: in the mood to put up with peoples crap today...
I remember: the good times
I believe: in the goodness of people
I sing: all day long usually...
I don’t: get why people don't think they have to play by the rules
I argue: when i know im right
I write: short stories and poetry
I win: when i focus on what i REALLY want
I lose: myself in the crowd sometimes
I listen: to anyone who needs to just talk
I don’t understand: people who don't have common sense or courtesy
I can usually be found: zoning out in my own world...
I need: motivation
I forget: everything
I am happy: most of the time :)