ha-zaa!

hello everyone! long time no talk... well, how are things out there in the world? things here in st. george are the same... summer is still hot, the cicadas are out and as loud as ever... and i'm relatively happy whith how things are going. i started a new blog with my friend susi called 'dining in dixie.' you should check it out. we critique the restaurants in the area. i figured who better to be a food critic, than two polynesian girls? lol... so i'll prob be on there more often then here. :) thanks for reading!!!

and the wheels go round and round...

HELLO!!!

Sorry, I know I've been lame in keeping up with this... but I have been WAY busy.

I know... I can here all 3 of you sigh in exasperation.

SORRY!!! :)

Anywho... life has been... crazy lately. my parents moved back to hawaii... and i decided to stay in utah. its cool. i miss my family like CRAZY but im glad to have some independence.

other than that, work has been getting more and more hectic. i work here at the chamber of commerce, and let me tell you, it stressful. I do ALL of the publications here... so basically i do all the graphic designing. its SUPER crazy... BUT its redeeming quality is that its WAY fun, i meet a lot of people, AND i work with awesome peeps... well, most of them are awesome. we do a lot of events and such and its been a lot of late hours and endless design crap lately. i almost feel like im losing all of my creativity sometimes. like everything i make looks the same. :( no worries... after june i'll be living life on easy street for a couple of weeks.

an den...

okay,

so im working right now... but im EXTREMELY tired and irritated, and im not geting anything done... SO i decided to blog.

life has been really complicated lately. i recieved news about things that has changed my life DRAMATICALLY yet again... i feel like in in an emotional upheaval lately, and theres nothing really i can do about it because i CHOSE to be here. I wish there were a way for me to be here to help and still be able to LIVE... but apparently there isnt...
i went on a date last thurs, and i realized that im MUCH more mature than guys my age... they tend to play stupid games, and i dont really dig it. i also ate a portabelo mushroom hamburger today from carls jr... and it was SO delicious... lol... settlers of catan is an addicting game! even though i SUCK royally, its really fun.

im off for the last week of the month, and i think im going to vegas to look for a car. i have a SUPER old crown vic that im gonnah trade-in. so thats exciting. oh, and i found a singles ward to go to finally. its a really cool ward and theres lots of cool people in it. the city i live in doesnt have a singles ward, so its nice to finally have one to go to.

My 'cousin' sent this pic to me and it totally describes how im feeling. st george like sucks out your soul... i feel so... BLAH here. like im not my own person anymore... like they're turning me into another scary utah hair, oh my heck, cant drive, utah-n, clone. its disgusting. i was so glad to go back home! oh, i forgot to tell you that i went back to hawaii for a 2 1/2 week vacation. it was so awesome! it was really good to see my brothers and their kids. ill post the pics when i get them. :)

okay... i sufficiently slacked off today, so im gonnah go! take care! OMG! WMD?! lol

life

hey everybody!!!

so this is the first time in a long time that I've been blogging... just because i thought it was dumb and no one reads it... that's probably true, but its nice to be able to let it all out and not have to worry about people acting dumb after.

so... this weekend is this HUGE party that ive been helping my friend/hanai cousin (adopted cousin) plan for her grandma (who is like my dads second mom). so its all good, and we get along really well, and shes totally awesome.

but (there's always a but, huh???) okay. she is sort of... undependable. which is fine. but i feel like I'm picking up the slack, and nothing was getting planned, and she spent all of her time just shopping and playing around. however, this is cool too, because shes a really good friend, and I'm used to picking up the slack... but the thing that irritates me is... we asked for help from one of MY family friends, and she is just being SO awesome... she is like spending a butt load of money to make it happen, and to make it really classy and stuff, and she asks my friend to do something (small) for her by Tues (today) and what does my friend do? she leaves it til the last minute... and then she makes me do it for her! which not only makes me look bad to my family friend, (whim i have the HUGEST amount of respect for) but, it makes it so that she may not help me out in the future with things that i know she would do AWESOME at.

i know that i put a "higher standard" for certain things, but if someone is sacrificing something for your cause and is VOLUNTEERING to do it, doesn't that make it like a higher priority? am i wrong in assuming that you should show your gratitude through being as accommodating to them as possible?

besides the fact that now shes all stink because i was bugging her all day to get on top of it (because i knew she was going to slack off...) that kind of thing irritates me to NO END!

but, i don't want to make a federal case out of it, so... im over it.

i think my coworkers hate me.

i wish i was better at life than i am now... it just seems that I'm slipping into nothingness, and i don't know how to make things better... i don't know how to apologize for everything. i don't know how to be ME again.

i feel like this place is sucking my soul out of me. I'm being brainwashed all the time, and the people here literally suck out all you personality and energy.

i just wish i knew what to do with my life. I'm not getting any younger and i still haven't decided what i want to be... i know i want to make sufficient funds to support myself and a family (in the future) and i know i want something challenging and diverse. i want something that i can be creative in and something i can excel at. if anyone has any suggestions, I'm up for it.