Jose can you see?

Aloha!
So, things have been getting better. I'm not in a fog all day anymore, so that's a positive thing! I also moved, which has been AMAZING! I can't tell you in words of how amazing my new roommates are. I have pictures...once I find my camera! ;)

I have to say that life is good. I have had the most amazing experiences in this last week and almost a half. It's AWESOME to know that I am loved and that people care about me. :D

I'm pretty stoked about next month. This month is preparing for it. ;) I'm going back to HAWAII!

WOO HOO!!!

I get to go back for a family reunion, and seeing as how we had a huge piece of family craziness this last month, it really will be a 'reunion' of sorts. :) IDK. I'm to the point where I know I need to go and see the fam bam, so it will be awesome. :)

Bonus--I have two different gigs this weekend. :) I'm pretty stoked about it.

All in all a pretty uneventful couple of weeks. Moving, EPIC Bowling, hanging out every night. :) I have NO complaints. I will be posting pics later this week.

OH! I almost forgot! So, Susi and I went to Las Vegas last weekend to look for our friend/former ward member Steven Koecher. He went missing last year in Henderson, and they have been looking for him ever since. I have to tell you that I didn't really know him all that well, but I am more than willing to look for him. He was a nice guy.

Anyway, this search was focused on looking for him on the bus system in Las Vegas. We rode buses in teams and tried to spot him. It was a sobering experience. I saw what a monumental task that his family has been facing. It really made me grateful for my family and our circumstances. We may not all have it together, but together we have it all. :)

I am also looking to make some pretty radical personal changes in the next couple of months. I've come to the realization that I need change. Not a scenery change, or an aesthetic change, but a change for my soul. I have been stagnant, and that is NOT good. It's time to try a little harder and get off my elemu (aka butt in Hawaiian). So, yeah. That's another thing I'm 'gearing up' for.

Another side note: My allergies have been INSANE this year. CRAZINESS! 

STORY: Three, almost four weeks ago, I rented some redbox movies. I watched them in the little spare time that I had, and therefore they were in random places. Aside from a hectic schedule, I was also moving. Three weeks later, I get a charge on my account for the movies (a price that I will not disclose...because it was high. :() So...after asking everyone around what that meant, I am taking it to mean that I am now the proud owner of three more movies. I guess it's good because I like all three of them. :)

I never knew that that happened after an allotted period of time. I guess I need to read the fine print next time! ;)

LYRIC TIME!!! lol. Man. I haven't really been on the up and up with music lately, but here is a good one. :) 

Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard
Words and Music by: Paul Simon

The mama pajama rolled out of bed
And she ran to the police station
When the papa found out he began to shout
And he started the investigation
Its against the law
It was against the law
What the mama saw
It was against the law

The mama looked down and spit on the ground
Every time my name gets mentioned
The papa said oy if I get that boy
I'm gonna stick him in the house of detention
Well I'm on my way
I don't know where I'm going
I'm on my way

I'm taking my time
But I don't know where
Goodbye to Rosie the queen of corona
See you, me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
See you, me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
Me and Julio down by the schoolyard

In a couple of days they come and take me away
But the press let the story leak
And when the radical priest
Come to get me released
We was all on the cover of Newsweek
And I'm on my way
I don't know where I'm going
I'm on my way

I'm taking my time
But I don't know where
Goodbye to Rosie the queen of corona
See you, me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
See you, me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
Me and Julio down by the schoolyard

So Much!

Hello All!
Well, I can't say that I have not written out of laziness. So much is happening, so I thought it best to blog it out. :)

So, the biggest issues have involved a family member. I won't get into it here, but I will say that this individual is an idiot, and I hope that they come to their senses soon. We are really close as a family, and I just have to say that I feel like an appendage has been cut off. I's completely lost as to what to do about the whole situation.

Next is--I'm moving! My roommate decided to sell her house, so I am moving again. I'm almost 100% sure that I will be moving in with my friends Amy and Jenette. I'm still unsure about how long I will be there or if I want to move to Hawaii.

Everything has been off kilter since we had the family drama, so I don't really know what to do.  I do know that for the first time since I have moved to St. George, I feel like I am somewhat accepted by a small group of people. I can finally be myself, and I have found that the reason I haven't liked living here is because I felt confined.

Work is...work. I can't really focus lately because I am constantly worried about my family. I've come to realize that my level-headedness and my calm comes from my family being alright. When they have problems, I'm like a ship in a storm. It's sort of unsettling to know that they have so much power over my mood...but I guess that is what happens when you are extremely close to your family. Anywho--my work (I feel) has been falling off because I can't focus. :(

School--I finished my last courses with B's. Truly the best classes I have taken. I just wish that everything outside of school would have cooled off for a bit so that I could have focused better. I am currently on a break from school for two weeks so that I can deal with all the craziness of last week. Cross your fingers for me! :)

All in all, I think that I am growing from all the experiences I have had. It hasn't been easy... not at all. However, I think that the harder your trials, the more you learn and grow. Life is rarely simple and easy, but I can strive to keep my life as simple as possible. Life is too short to have overcomplicated and dramatic problems. Looking at the world for it's face value has helped me to make realistic choices that have effected my life positively. :)

lol. I guess I'm still in school "substantive posting" mode. Sorry! ;)

Music for the day. Super appropriate for what's going on. Sometimes I wish that people could see what they were giving up when they made certain choices in their life. We often don't see what we have until it is gone. Let's hope that those that need to can see the error of their ways before it's too late. 

Do You Really Mean Goodbye
by: Ekolu

Feelin' low
I guess it's just my luck to be this way
Now do you really have to go?
Cause girl you know I still want you to stay. (Oh yeah)

I've been a fool
Spending my nights in bars and having fun (Oh yeah)
And I'm leaving you home a lone
When I should have been there getting my homework done (Oh yeah)

Now do you really mean goodbye?
I can see now the hurt that you're feelin'
And I realize that I would stand the pain
And oh, all this talk about leaving,
You're gonna make me a lonesome country boy again (x2)

Yes I know (Oh, oh)
That it's my own fault if you go away (away)
But give me one more try
And girl, never again will I go astray

Now do you really mean goodbye?
I can see now the hurt that you're feelin'
And I realize that I would stand the pain
And oh, all this talk about leaving,
You're gonna make me a lonesome country boy again (x2)

Instrumental

So do you really mean goodbye?
And I realize that I would stand the pain
And oh, all this talk about leaving,
You're gonna make me a lonesome country boy again (x2)

Yes I know (Oh, oh)
That it's my own fault if you go away (away, away, away)
But give me one more try
And girl, never again will I go astray (No way)

Now do you really mean goodbye?
I can see now the hurt that you're feelin'
And I realize that I would stand the pain
And oh, all this talk about leaving,
You're gonna make me a lonesome country boy again (x2)
If I can't, if I can't stop you from leavin'
You're gonna make me a lonesome country boy again (x4)

SUUUUUUUPER BLOG!

ALOOOOHA!!!! :))))))))))))))

How are all of you??? Things on my end are finally evening out. We just had another big event at work that we tackled. :) We do a yearly appreciation luncheon for our members for their employees. This year we had a 50's/Drive-In/"Creature Feature". Basically it was a 50's theme with a car show outside, a live performance, and a "drive-in" movie--Creature from the Black Lagoon. It was SUUUUUUPER fun. I've never seen that movie before. We had ladies screaming in the movie. It was AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS!

We also had the Ironman here last weekend. St. George will be home to an Ironman for the next 5 years. I may not pay attention to a lot of sports, but I DO love the Ironman. So much so, that I actually woke up at 3:00 am to get to the swim start/bike start transition at 4:15 in time to greet the athletes and usher them through the transition. It was a perfect day weather-wise. We were worried about wind int he morning, but our fears were unfounded. The water was FREEZING, and one of the athletes actually had to get hooked up to an IV. It was CRAZY to see all those people get into the water at the same time! Anywho...here are some pics:

It was so amazing to watch.
























Anyway... Moving right along.

School has been... challenging. I am committed to it through December, but I have really been struggling lately. I don't know what it is. I just am not motivated to do the work. I think a lot of it has to do with having too much to do and very little sleep--but I could be wrong. ;)

I got my camera! :) It is so pretty... I have started experimenting with it, but realized that I know NOTHING of cameras. So, all you camera savvy friends out there--hook a sister up! :) I am willing to learn how to use the different functions and  fancy tiddly-bits on my camera, so let me know if you have tips! It is a Nikon Coolpix S4000. I know... just a "point and shoot"er, but overall a really nice camera that deserves an educated user.

Hopefully life will settle down and I can get back into the groove of things...but don't hold your breath!

**EDIT: I almost forgot the song for the day!!! :S Here it is!

Sugar Blue
by: Jeff Finlin

Hobo songs and railroad gin
Alcohol evaporates through skin
One gift
Sugar blue

I feel his kiss in your angry eyes
To find hello when you say goodbye
One gift
Sugar blue

Holding darkness up to the light
The other side shows through
The raven's song it breaks the night
And I rise from me through broken hues
Sugar blue

Going no wheres some wheres song
Finding right in what went wrong
One gift, sugar blue
One gift, sugar blue

Holding darkness up to the light
The other side shows through
The raven's song it breaks the night
And I rise from me through broken hues
Sugar blue

Succumb

I have finally given in.

I am now the owner of a digital camera.

Here is a picture of the camera I will have in a few short days:

I'm sort of in shock.

What did I just do?

It better be worth the investment...that's all i have to say.

What am I talking about???

It is too late/early to think clearly.

Song...a pretty cool ditty.

Ottoman
by: Vampire Weekend

Ottoman couch, how handsome your furniture
Lovelier now, but dressed for a funeral
Begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall
To hang in the dark of some parliamentary hall

Elegant clothes, you want to be seen with her
Under your tweeds you sweat like a teenager
Begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall
To hang in the dark of some parliamentary hall

Today is for you
They laid it out for you
For you
There will be six bells a-ringing and white women singing for you
But this feels so unnatural to Peter Gabriel, too

All of the cards and all of the time it took
Soon it's all lines of red in a leather book
Begging you to wait for a minute by the door
Your creeping feet where they've never been before

Today is for you
They laid it out for you
For you
There will be six bells a-ringing and white women singing for you
But this feels so unnatural Peter Gabriel, too

***I hope I don't regret my camera purchase. :S***

Old Scars

Hello everyone!

So, this is another "serious" blog. I apologize that there will be no quirkiness in this post... well, maybe there will be. But--yeah. The old rules still apply. If you don't want to read it, wait til next week, and something light and airy will be posted. :)

This week has been an interesting one for me. A TON of awesome things happened this week. I got to have another Medium-a-thon with my friend Andrew...and I was the winner of his beta fish naming contest. :)

 This is a victory montage I made for Andrew's fish, Motley Chromatic III. :)

 
I also went to a Cab Calloway Orchestra Concert this week, and it was AMAZING! I LOVE LOVE LOVE big band music. :) And they played Jazz, which was totally cool. :)

However, also this week, I realized something. I have yet to fully be "over" my last relationship.

I think I need to clarify.

I am over "him" 100%. So done. Praise the Lord it's over.

However, I still suffer from the after-effects of a bad relationship gone worse. I have the battle scars to prove it too. I guess I never really realized that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I already had the WORST self esteem of all time, so it wasn't really surprising to hear someone say what I was already thinking. I had already been engaged and broken the engagement off by the time "he" and I were together. I invested 3 years into that relationship... and 5 years later, I still hurt from the old wounds.

I feel broken still. After all this time. How could "he" have done that to me??? I guess I'll never know. What I do know, is that I am better for being AWAY from him and the drama. Our relationship was unhealthy. I was in love and he was...bored I guess. How anyone could be bored for 3 years and stick with someone is beyond me. I suppose I was convenient and comfortable. I was chatting with a cousin of mine tonight, and this quote came up between us:

"The bottom line is that you can never really get over someone that you were that involved with. It's like trying to cut your finger off. It doesn't just break off your hand. It's messy and gross, and you will always carry the scars. The best way to get over things is to adapt and grow from the experience. Some hurts are deeper than others, but if you realize that the finger is never going to grow back... you can start to move on."

Sort of a morbid analogy, I admit. However, it's true. Three years is a long time to invest in something. I blinded myself to "his" faults--aka insulting me endlessly, and cheating on me--because I didn't want to see that he was a jerk. I was comfortable too, and didn't want to cut the ties there. I'm glad that he cheated...otherwise I would still be miserable, and he would still be using me.

Relationships are scary to me right now. I want one, but I'm scared to get hurt and that I would hurt them. I am a mess when it comes to relationships, and I would hate to hurt someone that I cared about. Although I have rarely been the one that "hurt" any of my exes.

lol. I'm a silly girl--too many emotions and thoughts. I need to just be done. O.o

Maybe I just need to take the plunge and see where it takes me. Life is rarely predictable, and I am always looking for a guy that can surprise me. :) I guess I'll just have to wait and see what life brings.

Okay. Lyrics for today. This is an AMAZING song. I totally love it.


In The Morning
By: Junior Boys

Too young (x4)
Too young, Oh (x4)

Girl the night's not over (Oh, too young)
We're not getting older
They can chase forever
'Cause in the morning there's a million names to choose from
You don't care just take one
Leave a place to rest on
Because you're too young

Yeah you're too young
Oh you're too young
You're too young

Too young, Oh (x4)
Too young, Uh (x4)

There goes another million,
Just wrap it up we own it
This night's a skill we hone it
And in the morning would you tell me that it's over?
You think that you'd do better
To stick with someone older
Because we're too young

Oh, too young (x4)

Too young
Yeah, we're too young in the morning.
We're too young
We're too young in the morning.

(Repeat)

Time to Breathe

WOO HOO!!!

So, I just finished a HUGE event at work, and I FINALLY have time to breathe...even if it's only for a couple of days. :) Work has been HORRENDOUSLY hectic, and I feel like I've been doing the job of 3 people. Sorry to all of you that have felt neglected lately. I literally did not have time or energy to do anything but school and work. :S Well, I could have made the time. Who am I kidding. There are 24 hours in a day, and I was working about 10... and then 4-6 for homework (finals)... so next time, I'll just hang out with people at 1:00 in the morning. ;)

Okay. So, blog. I need to do this really quickly before getting back to homework. Yes. I said homework. I have back to back 9 week classes, so although last week I had finals, this week I am starting all new classes. No rest for the wicked... or at least that's what they say.

No really. I'm ready to blog. The topic of today's post is NUTRITION. :)

I LOVE FOOD!

No, really. I can testify to all of you that I love food. Today I had a tri-tip beef sandwich that was AMAZING!

I wanted to take a bath in a tub of that meat... so succulent and it just melted in your mouth... *drool*

So, yeah. It's not a secret that I love food. BUT, today is not about food. It's about nutrition.

What is the difference, you ask? Well, food is fuel for our bodies. You know...Like gassing up your car. You can use a low grade gas, and still run your car, but you get better performance and better mileage if you use a quality grade gasoline.

The GRADE. It's the quality of food that we put in our bodies that makes ALL the difference. Highly processed foods, for instance, are actually pretty bad for you. Most fast food places just pump your food with all kinds of fats and oils... and some people love it. I am no exception. I'm not going to sit here and lie to all of you--telling you that I don't eat an occasional hamburger, because I do. What I want to talk to all of you about is increasing the quality of your food to increase the quality of your life!!!

I know someone (who will remain nameless) that will only eat 3 things. Noodles (plain), white bread, and chicken breast--pan seared or baked. First of all... HOW BORING! This person is MISSING OUT ON LIFE! Food should be enjoyable, not bland! Second... and more importantly--how unhealthy! I know that we are a country of obesity and gluttony, but malnutrition is also a HUGE problem in the states! We allow our children to be picky and to eat only the things they want to eat. I'm sorry, but if I was only allowed t eat what I wanted to eat when I was small--I would only have eaten cookies and potato chips. That is no way to live!!!

When we were growing up, we had a rule--you had to eat at leat ONE BITE of everything that was on the plate. NO MATTER WHAT. My parents would sit there and wait with us to make sure that we followed the rules. If we tried to cheat (i.e.: the following story) we would pay.

An example of "paying"...

I was probably 5 or 6, and my mom had made some sort of meal, and the vegetable was peas. I HATED peas, and didn't want to eat ANY. So, I thought I would be smart and take the peas I had (probably 2 tablespoons worth) and hide them in my brother's milk. BIG MISTAKE. Apparently you can't hide green peas in a glass of white milk :S Anywho, of course my mom saw and made me not only DRINK the milk, but EAT all of the peas as well.

This may sound harsh to some of you coddling mothers that give your children everything they could ever want, but as I look back, I am grateful for it. Beside the fact that we were poorer than church mice--and therefore couldn't afford to waste food, it taught me that I am able to surprise myself with what tastes good to me. I like all kinds of food, and I am always willing to try something new.

That's what I believe nutrition is all about. The good Lord didn't provide us with all this yummy goodness just to restrict ourselves to one type of food. Healthy, natural variety is what we should ALL be shooting for. Never cooked with jicama? There are SO many awesome recipes online that are DELICIOUS! Want to experiment with herbs? Fresh basil is a great compliment to a green salad, or dill is GREAT on a grilled turkey breast.

We have so many options now days, and we are rarely affected by seasons anymore. You can find basically ANYTHING all year.

So, here is my challenge. Go and EXPLORE. Create one meal using something you have never cooked with before. I PROMISE it will be worth it! :)

Okay. Now for the song of the day. This is a recent favorite... :) I just like the whole feel to the song. :)

Set You Free
by: The Black Keys

You hold on to love that's gone
Run a mile to see him smile
But you don't know he's door to door
Playin' you for the fool

(CHORUS:)
Let him go, walk out the door
And come to me, I'm gonna set you free

Now you know, there you go
Back to him, he's gonna do you in
Tear you down and run you 'round
Treat you wrong and then he's gone

(CHORUS)

You hold on to love that's gone
Run a mile to see him smile
But you don't know he's door to door
Playin' you for the fool

(CHORUS)

I'll set you free (x4)

Duets

NOT my family... but a great picture. :)



Some of you may know this--I sing. It's something of a passion for me. My dad taught us all how to sing, and I intend to pass the lessons right on long to my kids.


Being in a musical family has it's challenges--someone always has to be the 'lead' singer, and that causes hurt feeling sometimes. However, I think that having the experience of growing up around music and always having someone singing SOMETHING in the home made me a better person. It's made me a "people" person as well. Singing shares with a very special part of you with an audience. I know that when I sing, I can show the most beautiful parts of myself to the people around me. Is it any wonder that we have shows like "American Idol" around? Singing lifts us up where we belong... all we need is love. Oh, I mean singing. lol. (what movie??? the love part...anyway.)


When I was in Hawaii I sang a lot more than I do here. I think it's because I like to sing with my dad, and he's in Hawaii. Singing with my dad feels like how I imagine trying to play basketball with Michael Jordan would feel. You know that he is AMAZINGLY and INCREDIBLY talented, but he just wants to play the game--just like you. :)

The most interesting thing to me is how my little brother has developed over the years. He used to hate singing. He never really felt like he was included when we practiced. But now, he is so AWESOME! The wonders of what young people learn on missions never ceases to amaze me. He is so talented. All my brothers are. Adam, I think, could sing us all under the table if he wanted to, and Josh is good at EVERYTHING.

It's so awesome to think that it all came from my mom and dad, sitting with us and teaching us to sing scales. We would sing "I wish I were a fish" and hymnals ALL the time. I would get so sick of it, but we sounded good in the end. I think that's where I got my mania for practice. Practice makes better! ;)

Anyway--duets.Aside from being an AMAZING movie (if you haven't watched it before--it is well worth the time and money to purchase or rent a copy and watch. I HIGHLY recommend it) I love me a good duet. I was reading my friend Latu's blog, and she mentioned her time in Hawaii. I got to sing a beautiful duet with her called "Another's Burden." I love singing duets. It gives you the chance to harmonize with and complement two voices. Good times. :)

Of course, I do like me a good accapella group as well--but I was watching an exerpt of the movie "Duets" and I found two of my favorite clips. If you know anything about the movie, you'll know that it is about competitive karaoke singing. The first link is not a duet but it is a GREAT example of sharing a piece of yourself with an audience. The second one is a duet. AMAZING! :)

Clip 1

Clip 2

The first song--an accapella version of Lynard Skynard's "Free Bird" is so beautiful. It's sort of a sad part of the movie, but I love it. The second version is also today's song lyrics. :)

WATCH THEM!!!

It's awesome, and well worth the time. And now for lyrics. :)

Try A Little Tenderness
As performed by: Paul Giamatti & Andre Braugher (Vocals: Arnold McCuller)

(Verse 1)
Ohhh she may be weary
Young girls, they do get weary
Wearing that same old shaggy dress
[Yeaaaaahhh]
But when she gets weary
[She gets weary]
Try a little tenderness
[Tenderness, Yeaaaaah]

(Verse 2)
You know she's waiting
Just anticipating
The things that she'll never [never ever]
Never ever possess
While she's there waiting
[Ooohhh she's waiting]
Try a little tenderness
That's all you gotta do

(Verse 3)
It's not, just setimental, no (x3)
[No, No, No]
She has her grief & cares
[Yeaaaaahhh]
But the soft word, [soft words]
They are spoke so gentle
Makes it easier, [easier]
Easier to bear

(Verse 4)
Ohhhh now, you wont regret it [nooo, noooo]
Young girls, they don't forget it
Love is their only happiness
[Yeaaaah, Yeaaaah, Yeaaaah]
But it's all so easy [Ohh so easy]
All you got to do is
Try a little tenderness
[Try a little tenderness]

[Chorus]
You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her
Never leave her
Got to (x6)
Try a little tenderness
Hey! Hey! (x4)
Yeah! Yeah (x4)
Hey! Hey!
It's all you gotta do now

[Repeat Verse 4]